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Day: January 12, 2026

Priyanka Chopra Jonas and Karl Urban Team Up in The Bluff – Because Apparently We Needed More Plot Twists
Breaking, Movie News

Priyanka Chopra Jonas and Karl Urban Team Up in The Bluff – Because Apparently We Needed More Plot Twists

FinnJanuary 12, 2026January 12, 2026

Hold onto your rum and don’t spill the grog, because Priyanka Chopra Jonas is trading in her red-carpet gowns for…

Venezuela has a ton of oil — and also a surprise gift America definitely didn’t ask for but is getting anyway
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Venezuela has a ton of oil — and also a surprise gift America definitely didn’t ask for but is getting anyway

Big ElephantJanuary 12, 2026January 12, 2026

Trump’s Venezuelan Wishful Thinking: Mining Mirages and Rare Earth Fantasies In what can only be described as a masterclass in…

Financial Glow-Up: Because Getting Rich Slowly is Apparently a Workshop Now
Events

Financial Glow-Up: Because Getting Rich Slowly is Apparently a Workshop Now

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 12, 2026

🚨 FREE LIVE WORKSHOP ALERT 🚨 Discover how to invest and build your wealth like a pro (or at least…

DOJ Releases Jerome Powell Deepfake Nudes
The Onion

DOJ Releases Jerome Powell Deepfake Nudes

FinnJanuary 12, 2026

       WASHINGTON—Asserting that the images were “100% authentic,” the Justice Department released Monday what appeared to be deepfake nudes of…

Babylon Bee

Protesters Protest For Higher Protesting Wage

FinnJanuary 12, 2026

    MINNEAPOLIS, MN — Protesters hard at work sowing chaos in the city because of ICE raids and the death…

X Users Ask Grok To Put More Clothes On Elon Musk Pictures
The Onion

X Users Ask Grok To Put More Clothes On Elon Musk Pictures

FinnJanuary 12, 2026

       BASTROP, TX—In a trend that raises serious questions about consent on the social media platform, rising numbers of X…

When Uncle Sam Plays Pirate: The Day America Hijacks an Oil Tanker and Pretends It’s Legal
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

When Uncle Sam Plays Pirate: The Day America Hijacks an Oil Tanker and Pretends It’s Legal

Big ElephantJanuary 12, 2026January 12, 2026

Trump’s Great Venezuelan Oil Heist: When Leftist Tankers Meet Right-Wing Freedom In a stunning display of American might that would…

Trump considers sending in the cavalry to teach Iran a lesson in geopolitics
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Trump considers sending in the cavalry to teach Iran a lesson in geopolitics

Big ElephantJanuary 12, 2026January 12, 2026

Trump Mulls Nuking Iran Over Protests – Because That’s How Freedom Works In a stunning turn of events that absolutely…

Babylon Bee

Tucker Carlson Heads To Iran To Put Down Protests

FinnJanuary 12, 2026

    TEHRAN — A hush fell over the massive mob of Persians gathered in the streets of Tehran on Monday,…

Kristi Noem On Renée Good Murder: ‘We Will Find The Immigrant Who Did This’
The Onion

Kristi Noem On Renée Good Murder: ‘We Will Find The Immigrant Who Did This’

FinnJanuary 12, 2026

       The post Kristi Noem On Renée Good Murder: ‘We Will Find The Immigrant Who Did This’ appeared first on…

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Latest posts

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  • Trump vows to punish scum who trashed our great nation’s pool
  • Steam Machine Pricing and Reservations Are Finally Here Because You Clearly Haven’t Spent Enough Money on Overpriced PC Hardware Already
  • Get Ready for Some Pretentious Discussions About Magnifica Humanitas That Will Change Your Life Forever Possibly Maybe

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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