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Month: January 2026

MINISTRY’s AL JOURGENSEN Stars In ‘Jesus Cop’—Because Who Needs Sermons When You’ve Got Industrial Riffs?
Breaking, Movie News, Music News

MINISTRY’s AL JOURGENSEN Stars In ‘Jesus Cop’—Because Who Needs Sermons When You’ve Got Industrial Riffs?

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 31, 2026January 31, 2026

Move over, Marvel — Jesus Cop is here to save the world with blood, blasphemy, and probably a flamethrower Oh,…

ACID REIGN Unleashes New Album, ‘Daze Of The Week’, Because Apparently We Need More Chaos in May
Breaking, Music News

ACID REIGN Unleashes New Album, ‘Daze Of The Week’, Because Apparently We Need More Chaos in May

Chord F. DiscordJanuary 31, 2026January 31, 2026

ACID REIGN Returns to Melt Faces with “Daze Of The Week” – Because Apparently 2019 Wasn’t Confusing Enough U.K. thrash…

‘It’s not because we have bigger guns’: Minneapolis’ poet laureate reveals why ICE got its feelings hurt | CNN
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

‘It’s not because we have bigger guns’: Minneapolis’ poet laureate reveals why ICE got its feelings hurt | CNN

Big ElephantJanuary 31, 2026January 31, 2026

Minneapolis Just Showed Trump What Real Resistance Looks Like Well, well, well, looks like the liberal snowflakes in Minneapolis just…

Xi Jinping Sees Trump as a Golden Ticket to World Domination, Says China Expert | CNN
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Xi Jinping Sees Trump as a Golden Ticket to World Domination, Says China Expert | CNN

Big ElephantJanuary 31, 2026January 31, 2026

Xi Jinping Smells Blood in the Water as Trump Secures Second Term In what can only be described as a…

3 Million Docs Reveal Trump’s Epstein Connection—Because Nothing Says ‘Transparency’ Like a Paper Avalanche
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

3 Million Docs Reveal Trump’s Epstein Connection—Because Nothing Says ‘Transparency’ Like a Paper Avalanche

Big ElephantJanuary 31, 2026January 31, 2026

TRUMP’S NAME DROPPED 1,000+ TIMES IN EPSTEIN FILES — BUT DON’T BELIEVE THE FAKE NEWS! President Trump, the greatest leader…

Giants Owner’s Emails Reveal He Was on a Quest for Epstein’s ‘Special Connection’ to Women
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Giants Owner’s Emails Reveal He Was on a Quest for Epstein’s ‘Special Connection’ to Women

Big ElephantJanuary 31, 2026January 31, 2026

Yet Another Liberal Elite Caught in Epstein’s Web of Corruption! Well, well, well, looks like the New York Giants’ co-owner…

Three bottles of vodka in one gulp! That’s how Russians drink 🇷🇺
Videos

Three bottles of vodka in one gulp! That’s how Russians drink 🇷🇺

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 31, 2026

Could you do the same? Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of…

Events

“2026: Silicon Valley Prepares for Epic Lunar New Year Bash on the Moon – Because Earth is So Last Year”

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 31, 2026

Silicon Valley’s Lunar New Year Bash: Where Dragons Meet Tech Giants 🐉💻 Prepare your chopsticks and QR codes! The Bay…

Events

“Thuisonderwijs Info-avond: Ben Jij Al Klaar Om Je Kinderen Te Homeschoolen of Wordt Het Een Compleet Chaos?”

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 31, 2026

**De grote NVvTO-workshop: waar je leert je kinderen thuis onderwijzen zonder dat ze je doodmoe daden!** 🎓💀 **Adres verplicht?** Ja,…

“Webinar: Hoogbegaafden en Autisme in de Klas – Want Niemand Heeft Ooit Gedacht Dat Intelligentie en Sociale Vaardigheden Te Gelijker Tijd Bestaan”
Events

“Webinar: Hoogbegaafden en Autisme in de Klas – Want Niemand Heeft Ooit Gedacht Dat Intelligentie en Sociale Vaardigheden Te Gelijker Tijd Bestaan”

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 31, 2026

Hoogbegaafde autisten: de gevaarlijkste combinatie sinds ananas op pizza 🍕 Autisten die te slim zijn? Dat is net als een…

Posts pagination

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Latest posts

  • Get Ready for the Most Epic Display of Big Hair and Bigger Egos as DOKKEN Attempts to Relive the Glory Days at the Somewhat Still Relevant Whisky A Go Go
  • Deborah Ann Woll Spills All the Tea on Marvel, Woodcreek and God of War Laufey Because You Clearly Had Nothing Better to Do at GCC 2026
  • Tomb Raider Turns 30 And Still Somehow Manages To Not Completely Fall Apart
  • Obama lackey begs Iran for pathetic peace deal somehow
  • Liberal LA Mayor declares emergency over minor warehouse fire obviously

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
January 2026
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