STARBASE, TX—Claiming that his relationship with the nation’s adults had been ‘irreparably’ damaged by their recent comments in support of the trans community, Elon Musk announced Thursday that he had filed for full custody of all U.S. children. “I will be filing for full custody today, given that every American parent supports the transition of infants,” Musk wrote in a post on X, stating that he had a duty to protect over 74 million children from their guardians, who he claimed were “pedophiles” and “groomers.” “It’s sick. There isn’t one parent left in this country who hasn’t brainwashed their kids with the woke mind virus or, worse, taught them basic human empathy. And for promoting anti-white ideology, I am hereby terminating any remaining child support.” At press time, Musk announced that he had amended his lawsuit to only seek custody of the nation’s boys.
The post Elon Musk Files For Full Custody Of All U.S. Children appeared first on The Onion.
STARBASE, TX—Claiming that his relationship with the nation’s adults had been ‘irreparably’ damaged by their recent comments in support of the trans community, Elon Musk announced Thursday that he had filed for full custody of all U.S. children. “I will be filing for full custody today, given that every American parent supports the transition of infants,” Musk wrote
The post Elon Musk Files For Full Custody Of All U.S. Children appeared first on The Onion. Read More
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
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