Trump Releases Line Of Sympathy Cards
U.S. — Separate from his work as the nation’s commander in chief, President Donald Trump announced that he was…
Author: Finn
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed "Emperor of Irony," started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
Chick-Fil-A Announces Two Halves Of Buns Must Be Married Before Becoming Sandwich
ATLANTA—Hoping to provide clarity to consumers about their company’s food production standards, Chick-fil-A officials announced Monday that the two…
Statue Of Cesar Chavez Gropes Woman As It’s Being Taken Down
SAN FERNANDO, CA — An existing scandal was made even worse over the weekend, as a statue of the…
Paddleboat Ride Enjoyable For Seven Seconds
STANLEY, ID — A paddleboat ride at a local lake resulted in about seven seconds of enjoyment for a…
Scorsese and DiCaprio Finally Reunite to Pretend They’re Not Getting Older
Martin Scorsese and Leonardo DiCaprio are at it again, because apparently making six movies together wasn’t enough to satisfy their…
Political Profile: Markwayne Mullin
Markwayne Mullin has been nominated to succeed Kristi Noem as the secretary of homeland security. The Onion shares everything…
Trump Postpones Iran Strikes Until They All Assemble In One Place Again For A Meeting
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a promising sign that the weeks-long conflict in the Middle East could soon be over,…
Trump Wakes From Beautiful Dream Kissing Underage Girl To Find Face Being Licked By St. Bernard
WASHINGTON—Opening his eyes after nodding off for several minutes at his desk in the Oval Office, President Donald Trump…
After Jesus Bestows Nicknames ‘The Rock’ And ‘Sons Of Thunder’, Apostle James Bummed To Get Stuck With ‘The Lesser’
JUDEA — With his fellow apostle scoring nicknames from Jesus like “The Rock” and “Sons of Thunder”, the Apostle…
Saint Peter Gently Asks Chuck Norris To Stop Roundhouse Kicking The Cherubim
HEAVEN — After several incidents over the course of his first day in paradise, Chuck Norris was pulled aside…