Oh boy, are you in for a treat! 🎉 I was a He-Man kid, and I’m not ashamed to admit it 🙋♂️. I had a bin full of action figures, and I cherished those toys, mainly because I watched an animated show called He-Man and the Masters of the Universe, which was basically a 30-minute commercial for the toys 📺. But hey, who didn’t love a good cartoon about a muscular dude in a loincloth fighting evil warriors? 🤣
So, I was super excited to attend the New York premiere of the new Masters of the Universe movie 🎥, and I was even given a brand new Skeletor action figure on my seat 🎁! Talk about a blast from the past! 🕰️ But, things took a turn for the weird when a Mattel executive gave a speech about how the company is now in the business of “brand management” 🤔. Uh, isn’t that just a fancy way of saying “we’re trying to make money off of old stuff”? 💸
The movie itself is a bit of a mess 🤯. It’s a live-action recreation of the old ’80s world of barbarians, wizards, and robots, but it also relentlessly mocks the very same things 🤣. The characters are introduced in a lengthy prologue, and it feels like the movie is trying to celebrate the nostalgic IP while also scoffing at it for being incredibly childish 🤷♂️. It’s like they’re trying to have their cake and eat it too, or in this case, they’re trying to make a movie that appeals to both kids and adults, but ends up pleasing neither 🎂.
The movie’s message is equally muddled 🤔. It’s trying to say something about modern masculinity, but it ends up being a jumbled mess of conflicting ideas 🤯. The film’s protagonist, Adam, is a human resources manager who’s also a royal prince from a faraway galaxy 🚀, and he’s trying to reclaim the Sword of Power while also navigating the complexities of adult relationships 🤝. But, despite his good intentions, he ends up killing a bunch of people and looking like a total goofball 🤦♂️.
The cast is game, though 🎉. Nicholas Galitzine is willing to look like a total dork, and Jared Leto makes a decent Skeletor, even if he does have a generic British bad guy accent 🇬🇧. Idris Elba is, well, Idris Elba, and he deserves more opportunities to be the lead in big-budget spectacles 🎥. And Alison Brie is the best part of the movie, mainly because she understands the film’s self-satirizing tone and sells her winking jokes about her cruel skeleton man of a boss 💁♀️.
In the end, it feels like the creators of this Masters of the Universe movie are trying to make a point, but they’re not really sure what that point is 🤷♂️. They’re trying to reenergize an old IP by taking the piss out of it, but it feels misguided 🚽. Maybe they should just stick to making original concepts, like Obsession and Backrooms, instead of trying to revive old franchises 🎥.
So, what’s the verdict? 🤔 Well, I’d give this movie a solid 4/10 🎉. It’s not the worst thing I’ve ever seen, but it’s definitely not the best 🤷♂️. If you’re a die-hard He-Man fan, you might enjoy it, but for everyone else, it’s a bit of a snooze fest 😴. And hey, if you’re looking for something to watch, you could always check out ScreenCrush’s Most Anticipated Movies of 2026 🎥. Maybe you’ll find something better to watch than this mess 🤣. 🚀👽💫🎉👏💪🏽🔥💥🎊
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
