Finally, They’re Playing An Old Hymn In Church – Wait, False Alarm, They’ve Added A Weird New Chorus
U.S. — It’s a welcome act of God’s gracious providence: all the indications show that they’re finally playing a good…
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Trump Says He Won’t Rule Out Third Reich
Read MoreThe OnionThe post Trump Says He Won’t Rule Out Third Reich appeared first on The Onion.
You’ll Never Guess What’s Under The Pyramids! (It’s Sand)
GIZA — Researchers have made a startling discovery about what lies beneath the Great Pyramids: it’s sand. Read MoreBabylon Bee
Yankees Debut New Gloves
NEW YORK, NY — Continuing to find every equipment modification that could give them a competitive edge, the New York…
Trump Doesn’t Rule Out Possibility Of Becoming Immortal Emperor Of Mankind For Next 10,000 Years
WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Trump assuaged fears that he would seek an unconstitutional third term as President by suggesting he…
Dietary Restrict-Funs
Read MoreThe OnionThe post Dietary Restrict-Funs appeared first on The Onion.
Here’s A Pickup Line To Use On A Girl Of Each Christian Denomination
If you’re a Christian guy looking to find a godly wife, you know it can be hard to start a…
“Blade” on Hold: Vampires Take a Timeout for Manicures and Cooking Shows 🍿🧛♂️
Hollywood is buzzing with excitement once again! 🎬 This time, the spotlight is on the beleaguered project “Blade,” which has…
Man Spends Afternoon Volunteering Opinions About The Homeless
Read MoreThe OnionNEW YORK—Saying he found the activity enriched his life and provided him with a real sense of purpose,…
JD Vance Sweetens Deal By Offering Statue Of Liberty To Greenland
GREENLAND — In a bid to sweeten the offer of becoming an American territory, Vice President JD Vance has offered…