For First Time In History, Supreme Court Has 5 Female Justices
WASHINGTON, D.C. — A special ceremony was scheduled to be held today to mark the historic occasion, as for the…
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Leif Edling Dangles Candlemass Reunion Carrot With Messiah, Then Snatches It Away Like a Troll With a God Complex 😈
OMG! 😱 Leif Edling, the puppet master 🪖 behind CANDLEMASS, just dropped a bombshell 💣: Messiah Marcolin is back for…
Serial Killer Could Have Sworn He Killed That Guy Already
Read MoreThe OnionWORCESTER, MA—Blinking in disbelief as the individual passed him on the street alive and well, local serial killer…
10 Frontrunners To Be The Next Pope
Following the passing of Pope Francis, the Catholic Church is now deep into the process of electing a new leader.…
MS-13 Added To LGBTQ Acronym
U.S. — In yet another step toward the advancement of protections for all people groups, activists announced today that MS-13…
Michael Bay and OutRun: Racing with Transformers and Apocalypse🚗💥
In Hollywood, a new cinematic masterpiece is brewing from the master of explosions and Transformers — Michael Bay. This time,…
Unpopular Pete Hegseth Forced To Drink Lunch Alone
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Looking around with despair as he searched for an open seat in the Pentagon cafeteria, U.S. Secretary of…
Fine Young Cannibals, bless their hearts, are *still* trying to relive their 80s glory with “anniversary” shows – as if anyone remembers them 👴👵😂.
OMG! 🙄 Roland Gift, bless his cotton socks, is STILL milking the Fine Young Cannibals cow 🐄! Apparently, it’s been…
Exodus Guitarist Dares to Have an Opinion on Metallica, Instigating Metalhead Civil War 🤘🔥😂.
Oh, for the love of Lars! 🙄 Another “expert” weighs in on the eternal METALLICA debate. Radioactive MikeZ, bless his…
Christianity Today: ‘Jesus May Not Have Existed And The Bible Is A Lie And God Is Dead’
CAROL STREAM, IL — An article published by Christianity Today calls into question the existence of Jesus, argues that the…