Wife Bestows Medal Of Honor On Husband For Loading Dishwasher
BOISE, ID — A great honor was awarded in a humble family home this week as a wife bestowed a…
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Japanese Fishermen Catch 600-Pound Can Of Tuna
Read MoreThe OnionTOKYO—Working for nearly eight hours to bring the record-setting catch aboard, a group of Japanese fishermen reportedly reeled…
Kohler Recalls 30,000 Bathtubs Shipped With Nude Man Already Inside
Read MoreThe OnionKOHLER, WI—To address a situation the plumbing-fixture company described as embarrassing for everyone involved, Kohler issued a recall…
The Babylon Bee Has Obtained The Official White House Schedule For The Final Two Weeks Of Biden’s Presidency
The day is fast approaching when Joe Biden will depart from the White House. With only two short weeks remaining…
Report: No, Really, TSA To Require Real ID This Year
Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Emphasizing that Americans need to get their travel documents updated because the agency wasn’t messing around anymore, the…
LeBron Pressures Bronny To Have Grandchildren Before He’s Too Old To Play With Them In NBA
Read MoreThe OnionLOS ANGELES—Reminding his son that he won’t be on the roster forever, Los Angeles Lakers star LeBron James…
Wife Really Stressed Out After Realizing She Has Nothing To Stress Out About
NASSAU, DE — After cuddling with her husband in front of a roaring fire and getting Christmas decorations put away…
Bill Nye’s Medal Revoked After Old Hate Speech Comes To Light
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Bill Nye has just had his Presidential Medal of Freedom revoked after investigators unearthed an old hate…
Meghan Markle Horrified To Learn Netflix Cameras Have Been Following Her This Whole Time
MONTECITO, CA — Princess and former General Hospital extra Meghan Markle was horrified to learn Netflix cameras have been filming…
Reminder: American Women Have Until January 20th To Find A Man To Get Them Pregnant Or One Will Be Selected For Them
ATTENTION: American women have until noon on the 20th of January, in the Year of our Lord 2025, to find…