Catholic Condemned To 800 More Years In Purgatory After Failing To Post Ash Selfie
BOSTON, MA — A devoted Catholic man was devastated after being notified that he had been condemned to an additional…
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Netflix in Shock: ‘The Electric State’ Flop Due to Lazy AI from OpenAI! 🤖😴
A scandal has erupted in the world of tech and cinema! 🎥💥 OpenAI, known for its cutting-edge AI developments, has…
If Females Could Get Pregnant, There’d Be An Abortion Clinic On Every Coral
Read MoreThe OnionDespite the tide of aquatic opinion flowing in favor of reproductive rights for all, marine society still gives…
Police Catch Man Smuggling Cocaine Under Toupee
Read MoreThe OnionColombian police apprehended a man attempting to smuggle 220 grams of cocaine in small bags hidden under his…
9 Essential Items France Is Providing In Defense Of Ukraine
With the U.S. suspending all military aid amid contentious negotiations for peace, the historically courageous nation of France announced that…
German In Jail For A Meme Sure Hopes EU Can Stop Spread Of Russian Tyranny
FRANKFURT — According to sources, a German man who was jailed by authorities for sharing a meme is expressing hope…
Apostle Paul Reportedly Shipwrecked So Many Times Because He Failed To Ask For Traveling Mercies
CAMBRIDGE — In a noteworthy new discovery, a group of biblical scholars revealed a new consensus opinion that the Apostle…
Trump Renames Eric ‘Eric Of America’
Read MoreThe OnionThe post Trump Renames Eric ‘Eric Of America’ appeared first on The Onion.
Mechanic Exhausted After Long Day of Making Up Fake Car Parts That Need To Be Fixed
ALLENTOWN, PA — Local mechanic Ruben Rivera appeared exhausted Wednesday after a long day making up fake car parts that…
Catholic Church Introduces White Ashes For Black People
VATICAN — Ash Wednesday in 2025 was the most inclusive ever, say Vatican officials, thanks to the introduction of new…