HALESTORM’s LZZY HALE Totally Not Freaking Out About Touring With BABYMETAL Because What Could Possibly Go Wrong With That
Oh boy, are you guys ready for the most epic tour announcement ever? 🤩🎸 HALESTORM is hitting the road with…
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Pokémon Horizons Season 3 Part 3 Finally Coming to Save Us from Our Miserable Lives and Endless Waiting
Oh boy, are you guys ready for some electrifying news? 🚀💥 Pokémon Horizons is back with a bang, and we’re…
MARVEL Cosmic Invasion Because Who Needs the Avengers When You Have Cyclops and the Thing to Save the Day in This Totally Not Desperate DLC Move
The most epic news in the history of epic news has just dropped, and I’m not even exaggerating 😱! MARVEL…
Even Shaq Surprised To Learn He’s The New Spokesman For DivaCup
      HEATH, TX—Admitting that he had no memory of agreeing to the endorsement deal, NBA Hall of Famer Shaquille O’Neal…
Father Gathers Loved Ones To Break The News That He’s Getting Really Into The Civil War
   BANGOR, ME — Local dad David Kemp gathered his family together today to break the news to them that…
Metalheads over 40 preparing for a concert 💀
Ibuprofen. Knee braces. Battle jackets. We ride at dusk. 🤘
Smart Man Saves Time By Getting Angry Now Instead Of Waiting Until All The Facts Are Known
   ALTOONA, PA — Local man Ted Woods got tired of all the time spent getting angry online. “There’s always…
Liberal crybabies get taxpayer-funded participation trophies for being suspected crooks
It’s a beautiful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to report that our great nation is still standing, despite…
Another stellar example of Democrat-run education in action somehow
Oh joy, oh rapture, it’s a beautiful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to be writing about the latest…