Batman Returns (and promptly leaves because who wants to see that again)
Oh, great, more Batman 🦇. As if we needed another reason to relive the glory days of the late ’80s…
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OMG, Did Sydney Sweeney’s Jeans Just Break the Internet or Did the Internet Break First
Another day, another “controversy” manufactured by the liberal media! Apparently, Sydney Sweeney, a beautiful and successful actress, dared to model…
The Fantastic Flop: Deleted Scenes and Cameos They Prayed You’d Never See
😂 Oh, sweet summer child, you think you’re getting a serious article? Think again! The Fantastic Four: First Steps, or…
Papa Roach Drops ‘Braindead’ Track with H2O’s Toby Morse, Proving They Still Know How to Make Us Facepalm
Behold, the titans of nu-metal PAPA ROACH, who, after years of relentlessly assaulting our ears with their unique brand of…
Another One Bites the Dust: Fed Governor Flees, MAGA Minion to Fill the Void | CNN (Comically Negligible News) Business
Oh, joy! Another Deep State operative bites the dust! Adriana Kugler, hand-picked by Sleepy Joe himself, is hightailing it out…
CNN: Trump’s Tariffs—Still the Leprosy of Economics, But Republicans are Catching the Disease
Oh, the liberal media is at it again, folks! They’re trying to twist the narrative on President Trump’s brilliant tariff…
Alabama Babysitter’s Brain Farts, Kills Tot With Toasty Car Ride, Cops NOT Lovin’ It
Another tragedy, folks, and who’s to blame? The liberal, socialist state of Alabama, that’s who! They take kids away from…
Congress Postpones Ghislaine Maxwell’s Testimony Until After Her Death
WASHINGTON, D.C. — People hoping to learn any potentially new details from Jeffrey Epstein’s closest associate were disappointed, as news…
High Noon Recalls Vodka Seltzers Mislabeled As Celsius
    Read MoreThe OnionCertain 12-packs of Celsius energy drinks have been recalled after a packaging error led them to contain High…
Doctor Strange Reveals That Across 14 Million Universes, Colbert’s Show Bombs In Every Single One
SANCTUM SANCTORUM — Doctor Stephen Strange has made known the startling revelation that across 14 million universes, The Late Show…