Category: The Onion

       ATLANTA—Hoping to provide clarity to consumers about their company’s food production standards, Chick-fil-A officials announced Monday that the two…

       Markwayne Mullin has been nominated to succeed Kristi Noem as the secretary of homeland security. The Onion shares everything…

       WASHINGTON—Opening his eyes after nodding off for several minutes at his desk in the Oval Office, President Donald Trump…

       Tallahassee Memorial Healthcare sued a patient who refused to depart her room after being discharged last October, claiming she…

       A bipartisan group of Oregon lawmakers approved $2.1 million to buy the 92-foot-tall Abiqua Falls after it was put…

       NEW YORK—Pulling the plug on the religion in light of a newly released video featuring church member Taylor Frankie…

       The post American Baked Potato Association Study Finds It Best To Load ’Er Up appeared first on The Onion.…

       MILPITAS, CA—After gradually resigning himself to an evening entirely devoid of physical intimacy, local man Seth Martin observed Friday…

       The post Trump Repeats False Claim That Iranians Produce Oil From Bodies Like Bees appeared first on The Onion.…

       CHICAGO—Sources confirmed Thursday that more than two dozen employees of logistics company LQR Freight had reluctantly agreed to participate…