Category: The Onion

       AKRON, OH—Using the icon of a sleigh to denote his unmistakable presence near a residence in northeastern Ohio, NORAD’s…

       The post Felt Beard Taped To Child’s Face Hanging On For Dear Life With Entire Christmas Pageant To Go…

       Seasons greetings from your old friend Santa! With Christmas just a few short days away, Santa is hard at…

       Secretary of State Marco Rubio ordered diplomatic correspondences to cease the use of Calibri font and revert to Times…

       MACKINSHAW, NE—Emphasizing that he didn’t want to seem paranoid but it was the only way he could make sense…

       WASHINGTON—Praising the recipients for their acts of true American cowardice, President Donald Trump proudly announced a new “Dodger Dividend” on…

       The post Trump Assures Struggling Nation He Has Plenty Of Money appeared first on The Onion.    The post Trump…

       NAPERVILLE, IL—Scurrying into the alley as employees chased her with a broom, Aldi CEO Atty McGrath reportedly had to…

       Fundraising website GoFundMe reported a sharp uptick in the number of people using the platform to help cover the…

       MINNEAPOLIS—Excitedly revealing to the staff that she had a special surprise, local data analyst Kayla Herrera reportedly delighted coworkers…