Category: The Onion

       EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ—In an effort to console the team’s star running back as he recuperated from a season-ending lower-leg…

       The post ICE Agent, 7-Year-Old Both Wearing Same ‘Military Commando’ Halloween Costume appeared first on The Onion.   The post…

       DES MOINES, IOWA—Revealing that his fascination began practically as soon as he could crawl behind the television, local IT…

       The Department of Homeland Security has been carrying out “Operation Midway Blitz” since early September. The Onion examines the…

       CHICAGO—Hoping to lock down childcare so they could get out of the house for a fun date night this…

       WASHINGTON—In an effort to manage the American people’s expectations, officials at the National Association for Business Economics announced Wednesday…

       WASHINGTON—Praising the process as yet another miracle of biology that modern medicine chooses to ignore, a gray-lipped Robert F.…

       CLEVELAND—Revealing a vast, forgotten catalog of legitimate pop compositions, a report released Thursday about novelty musical act Michael Joseph…

       1 FROWNIN’ AT NIGHT THE WEEKEND 2 EMBERS OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT TAYLOR SWIFT 3 PORK ME WITH YOUR…

       An investor group that includes Travis Kelce has acquired about 9% of Six Flags Entertainment Corporation, planning to advocate…