Category: The Onion

    Read MoreThe OnionThe post First Slice Of Orange Suggests Eating Rest Of Orange Gonna Be Real Fucking Slog appeared first…

    Read MoreThe OnionA man was arrested in Atlanta for allegedly stealing hard drives containing Beyoncé’s unreleased music and other tour-materials,…

    Read MoreThe OnionBenjamin Yates passed away tragically at age 53, leaving a gaping hole in his local community and torso.…

    Read MoreThe OnionFox News host Brian Kilmeade apologized for saying that mentally ill homeless people should be subject to “involuntary…

    Read MoreThe OnionSAN FRANCISCO—In response to ongoing concerns regarding the safety of its female passengers, rideshare giant Uber reportedly introduced…

    Read MoreThe OnionThe post NIH Director’s Pulsing Neck Tumor Announces Cancer Research Cuts appeared first on The Onion.   FinnFinn McFrame,…

    Read MoreThe OnionCAMBRIDGE, MA—Describing the practice as “vital to player development,” researchers at Harvard University published a study Monday that…

    Read MoreThe OnionARLINGTON, TX—Panicking at the realization that their personal reputations had been directly tied to the team’s dismal performance…

    Read MoreThe OnionElon Musk was temporarily overtaken as the world’s richest person by Oracle cofounder Larry Ellison after the company’s…

    Read MoreThe OnionTreasury Secretary Scott Bessent erupted at top housing finance official Bill Pulte during a private dinner, threatening to…