Category: The Onion

       OLYMPIA, WA—Sitting back to savor the 10-course broth-based haute cuisine, guests at the Northwest Community Center told reporters Tuesday…

       WASHINGTON—Embarking on their self-described “diplomatic voyage” at the National Mall Tuesday while their wives and children waved goodbye, Eric…

       COLUMBUS, OH—Casually minimizing the amount of fulfillment and joy he now finds in his everyday life, area man Tyler…

       The U.S. government issued new guidance that would deny visas to applicants with certain chronic health conditions such as…

       NEW YORK—Faced with backlash against comments she made last week downplaying the sex trafficking crimes of Jeffrey Epstein, an…

       While prices at the grocery store continue to rise, more Americans are turning to shelf-stable preservation methods to save…

       DETROIT—Double-checking that he had approval before finalizing travel plans, Detroit Lions rookie Tate Ratledge reportedly approached head coach Dan…

       A record 40% of American women aged 15–44 say they would like to move abroad permanently, more than twice…

       WASHINGTON—In an effort to bring an end to what he described as an anti-American trend in filmmaking, President Donald…

       BATH, ENGLAND—Saying the discovery shed new light on the infamous German dictator’s life, University of Bath researchers revealed DNA…