Category: The Onion

    Read MoreThe OnionTHE HEAVENS—Cursing aloud the moment news of Leo XIV’s election arrived on His phone screen, the Lord Almighty…

    Read MoreThe OnionPresident Donald Trump’s administration said that it is going to pay immigrants who are in the United States…

    Read MoreThe Onion​​President Donald Trump is directing the reopening and expansion of Alcatraz, the notorious former prison on a hard-to-reach…

    Read MoreThe OnionThe post Sin’N’Out appeared first on The Onion.   FinnFinn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,”…

    Read MoreThe OnionAUGUSTA, GA—Racked with guilt at the thought of making the wrong decision, local couple Anthony Wells and Katherine…

    Read MoreThe OnionWASHINGTON—Vowing to restore and revitalize the facilities as a symbol of law, order, and justice, President Donald Trump…

    Read MoreThe OnionDURHAM, NC—Threatening to have his client sit out the rest of the academic semester unless he was paid…

    Read MoreThe OnionA study in The New England Journal Of Medicine found that semaglutides, such as Ozempic and Wegovy, may…

    Read MoreThe OnionEDINBURGH, SCOTLAND—Scolding thousands of employees for letting themselves become distracted from their schooling, Rockstar Games announced Friday that…