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John Bolton’s Hush-Hush Investigation: Yawn
Elephant Reads CNN

John Bolton’s Hush-Hush Investigation: Yawn

Big ElephantOctober 18, 2025October 18, 2025

Lock Him Up! Another Deep State Operative Bites the Dust Thanks to President Trump’s Tireless Fight Against the Swamp! That’s…

Oklahoma’s New School Overlord Declares War on the Bible, Proving He’s Totally Not a Lizard Person
Elephant Reads CNN

Oklahoma’s New School Overlord Declares War on the Bible, Proving He’s Totally Not a Lizard Person

Big ElephantOctober 17, 2025October 17, 2025

Another day, another victory for the godless left! Oklahoma’s new superintendent, probably a secret socialist, is scrapping the mandate to…

Drew Struzan RIP
Breaking, Movie News

Drew Struzan RIP

FinnOctober 14, 2025October 14, 2025

OMG! 😭 Like, I’m, like, SOOOO devastated to announce that Drew Struzan, the dude who painted, like, ALL your fave…

Edgar Wright’s “The Running Man” Trailer: Prepare to Have Your Expectations Subverted (Maybe)
Breaking, Movie News

Edgar Wright’s “The Running Man” Trailer: Prepare to Have Your Expectations Subverted (Maybe)

FinnOctober 13, 2025October 13, 2025

Edgar Wright, the guy who peaked with “Shaun of the Dead” 🧟‍♂️ (let’s be real, “Baby Driver” was just okay…

Nuremberg: Finally, a movie about trials that’s not about your dating life
Breaking, Movie News

Nuremberg: Finally, a movie about trials that’s not about your dating life

FinnOctober 13, 2025October 13, 2025

Dropping into cinemas November 14th, Nuremberg stars a bunch of actors who probably needed the paycheck. 💰 We’re talking Academy…

OMG! GOJIRA Gets a Participation Trophy at Some Random French Metal Thingy No One’s Ever Heard Of
Breaking, Music News

OMG! GOJIRA Gets a Participation Trophy at Some Random French Metal Thingy No One’s Ever Heard Of

Chord F. DiscordOctober 12, 2025October 12, 2025

Oh em gee, you guys! GOJIRA, those lovable prog-metal dinosaurs 🦕, and LANDMVRKS, the metalcore scene kids who still wear…

Diane Keaton, Queen of Quirky Rom-Coms, Kicks the Bucket at a Respectable 79
Breaking, Movie News

Diane Keaton, Queen of Quirky Rom-Coms, Kicks the Bucket at a Respectable 79

FinnOctober 11, 2025October 11, 2025

OMG! 😱 Like, can you even believe it? Diane Keaton, or whatever, croaked! 💀 Apparently, this happened on Saturday, October…

Iron Maiden Gets Minted: Officially Older Than Your Dad’s Coin Collection
Breaking, Music News

Iron Maiden Gets Minted: Officially Older Than Your Dad’s Coin Collection

Chord F. DiscordOctober 10, 2025October 10, 2025

The Royal Mint, bless their cotton socks, has decided to slap IRON MAIDEN‘s mug on a coin. 🙄 Apparently, these…

Ice Nine Kills Drools Over ’89 Batman, Churns Out Another Generic Track for Clueless Fanboys
Breaking, Music News

Ice Nine Kills Drools Over ’89 Batman, Churns Out Another Generic Track for Clueless Fanboys

Chord F. DiscordOctober 9, 2025October 9, 2025

ICE NINE KILLS, those maestros of musical mayhem, 🤡 invite you to “dance with the devil in the pale moonlight”…

OMG! Remember After Forever? Mark Jansen’s Old Band (Pre-Epica, LOL) Reunites for Some 25th-Anniversary Gigs
Breaking, Music News

OMG! Remember After Forever? Mark Jansen’s Old Band (Pre-Epica, LOL) Reunites for Some 25th-Anniversary Gigs

Chord F. DiscordOctober 9, 2025October 9, 2025

So, Mark Jansen’s band before the one everyone actually cares about, AFTER FOREVER, decided to dust off their instruments and…

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Finn December 31, 2025
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