Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
    • The Orange Oracle
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Europe

Bonfire Studios Pukes Out Arkheron, Hopelessly Flailing Up Some Random Tower
Breaking, Games News

Bonfire Studios Pukes Out Arkheron, Hopelessly Flailing Up Some Random Tower

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 17, 2025September 17, 2025

Oh boy, another one bites the dust! Bonfire Studios, bless their cotton socks, is unleashing Arkheron upon us, a PvP…

The Rasmus Drops ‘Weirdo’ Music Vid Featuring Some Guy From THE FUNERAL PORTRAIT, Who Cares
Breaking, Music News

The Rasmus Drops ‘Weirdo’ Music Vid Featuring Some Guy From THE FUNERAL PORTRAIT, Who Cares

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 12, 2025September 12, 2025

OMG! 🤪 Can you believe it’s been almost a whole YEAR 📅 since those Finnish rockers 🇫🇮, THE RASMUS (who…

CRO-MAGS Rehire Drummer Just to Fire Him Again Next Week
Breaking, Music News

CRO-MAGS Rehire Drummer Just to Fire Him Again Next Week

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 10, 2025September 10, 2025

OMG! 😱 The geriatric delinquents, CRO-MAGS, have unearthed a fossil! 🦴 Apparently, Pete Hines, the dude who banged pots and…

SYSTEM OF A DOWN (and some old geezers) Announce Summer 2026 European Stadium Tour
Events, Music News

SYSTEM OF A DOWN (and some old geezers) Announce Summer 2026 European Stadium Tour

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 10, 2025September 10, 2025

OMG! 😱 SYSTEM OF A DOWN, those guys who haven’t released a decent album since the dinosaurs roamed the Earth…

Trump, who loves Russia, tells Europe to ditch Russian oil (lol)
Elephant Reads CNN

Trump, who loves Russia, tells Europe to ditch Russian oil (lol)

Big ElephantSeptember 6, 2025September 5, 2025

Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! Our great President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, tells Europe to stop…

Ex-Iced Earth Vocalist Now a Cop: From ‘Burning Empires’ to Writing Tickets
Breaking, Music News

Ex-Iced Earth Vocalist Now a Cop: From ‘Burning Empires’ to Writing Tickets

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 6, 2025September 6, 2025

In a recent earth-shattering 💥 interview with George Dionne of The Rock Is George podcast, the one and only Matt…

Alter Bridge’s “Silent Divide” Video: Prepare to Be Mildly Diverted from Your Daily Grind
Breaking, Music News

Alter Bridge’s “Silent Divide” Video: Prepare to Be Mildly Diverted from Your Daily Grind

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 3, 2025September 3, 2025

Oh joy, oh rapture! 🥳 Those purveyors of generic rock anthems, 🎸ALTER BRIDGE🎸, are back with a new album and…

SABATON’s Got a Bridge, Get Over It
Breaking, Events, Music News

SABATON’s Got a Bridge, Get Over It

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 2, 2025September 2, 2025

Oh, glorious day! The Swedish Eurovision rejects, SABATON, are gracing Europe with their presence in November 2025 for a “20-city…

Chainsaw Man—The Movie: Reze Arc Hitting North America on October 29 (Prepare for Peak Fiction or Utter Disappointment)
Breaking, Movie News

Chainsaw Man—The Movie: Reze Arc Hitting North America on October 29 (Prepare for Peak Fiction or Utter Disappointment)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 31, 2025August 31, 2025

Well, well, well, look what we have here. After approximately 3 decades of waiting (give or take), Crunchyroll, bless their…

Dino Claims New Guy Sounds Just Like Burton… From Like, Way Back In The Stone Age
Breaking, Music News

Dino Claims New Guy Sounds Just Like Burton… From Like, Way Back In The Stone Age

Chord F. DiscordAugust 30, 2025August 30, 2025

In a recent totally unbiased and not-at-all-paid-for interview with Metalshop TV, FEAR FACTORY’s very own guitar “hero” Dino Cazares graced…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 15 16 17 … 20 Next

Latest posts

  • TOM KEIFER Still Singing Cinderella Songs Because You Wont Let Him Retire
  • ORANGE ORACLE UNLEASHES FENTANYL GATE EXPOSE, UNCOVERS 1M DEADLY PILLS UNLEASHED ON AMERICA
  • SKILLET To Finally Release Something New Because You’ve All Been Clamoring For More Of The Same Old Stuff In July; ‘Comatose: 20 Years, Still Screaming Tour’ To Launch This Fall Because They Still Can’t Sell Out A Decent Venue
  • Trump vows to punish scum who trashed our great nation’s pool
  • Steam Machine Pricing and Reservations Are Finally Here Because You Clearly Haven’t Spent Enough Money on Overpriced PC Hardware Already

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}