Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: horror

CNN: Brave Activists Rally for Guy Who Might Get Sent to Uganda Because Orange Man Said So
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN: Brave Activists Rally for Guy Who Might Get Sent to Uganda Because Orange Man Said So

Big ElephantAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

Here we go again, folks! Another sob story from CNN about a “poor, innocent” illegal alien. Kilmar Abrego Garcia, a…

“Dirty Boy” Trailer: Prepare to Have Your Mind Hilariously Messed With
Breaking, Movie News

“Dirty Boy” Trailer: Prepare to Have Your Mind Hilariously Messed With

FinnAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

Alright, buckle up buttercups! Mystic Dream Story Studio (sounds legit), Stone Hill (probably a pile of rocks), and Saint Halo…

EIFF 2025: Dead Lover – More Fun Than an Actual Funeral, Apparently
Breaking, Movie News

EIFF 2025: Dead Lover – More Fun Than an Actual Funeral, Apparently

FinnAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

Ah, “Dead Lover,” another gem 💎 from the Midnight Madness collection, or as I like to call it, the “What…

Texas Chain Saw Massacre Doc Trailer: Chains, Screams, and Probably Bad Life Choices
Breaking

Texas Chain Saw Massacre Doc Trailer: Chains, Screams, and Probably Bad Life Choices

FinnAugust 25, 2025August 25, 2025

Fifty years after Tobe Hooper’s The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, a movie that, let’s be honest, probably gave you nightmares…

“Adios, Amigos! CNN Reports on How Immigration Crackdowns Are Turning the US into a Ghost Town (Maybe)”
Elephant Reads CNN

“Adios, Amigos! CNN Reports on How Immigration Crackdowns Are Turning the US into a Ghost Town (Maybe)”

Big ElephantAugust 24, 2025August 24, 2025

Oh, the horror! CNN is at it again, folks, painting a grim picture of America under our glorious President Trump!…

Fan Expo Canada 2025: Prepare for the Cosplay Apocalypse
Live

Fan Expo Canada 2025: Prepare for the Cosplay Apocalypse

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 24, 2025August 24, 2025

  As if we needed another reason to question humanity, Fan Expo Canada 2025 happened. Yes, the Toronto Metro Convention…

CNN Thinks It’s Time to Gaslight You About Who the “Swing Voter” Really Is
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Thinks It’s Time to Gaslight You About Who the “Swing Voter” Really Is

Big ElephantAugust 24, 2025August 24, 2025

Another day, another desperate attempt by CNN to undermine our glorious President Trump and his landslide victory! They’re now whining…

“The Disinvited” Gets Rescued from the VHS Graveyard by Dark Star Pictures
Breaking, Music News

“The Disinvited” Gets Rescued from the VHS Graveyard by Dark Star Pictures

FinnAugust 22, 2025August 22, 2025

Dark Star Pictures, bless their cotton socks, has decided to unleash upon the world a cinematic masterpiece – or, you…

EIFF 2025: “Mortician” – So Powerful, I Almost Stayed Dead
Breaking, Movie News

EIFF 2025: “Mortician” – So Powerful, I Almost Stayed Dead

FinnAugust 22, 2025August 22, 2025

OMG, you guys! 🙄 Another film festival, another movie about… a mortician? Seriously? Abdolreza Kahani, bless his heart, decided to…

Rubio, bless his heart, reaffirms Trump’s maybe-sort-of-kinda Ukraine promise, but hey, Europe, you got this, right
Elephant Reads CNN

Rubio, bless his heart, reaffirms Trump’s maybe-sort-of-kinda Ukraine promise, but hey, Europe, you got this, right

Big ElephantAugust 22, 2025August 22, 2025

Ah, yes, more news about Ukraine and Russia. It seems even after all these years, the liberals can’t get enough…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 42 43 44 … 70 Next

Latest posts

  • Trump’s Helicopter Needs Investigation Because Of Course It Does
  • Warsh Talks AI, Somehow Forgets Entire Day Job
  • Billionaires Get Tariff Refunds Because Who Needs Affordable Stuff Anyway
  • Trump’s Alternative Facts Meet Actual Reality Again
  • Ted Lasso Season 4 Falls Short Again

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
August 2026
S M T W T F S
 1
2345678
9101112131415
16171819202122
23242526272829
3031  
« Jul    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.