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CNN Asks the REAL Question: Could Trump be Ghislaine’s Knight in Shining (Orange) Armor?
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Asks the REAL Question: Could Trump be Ghislaine’s Knight in Shining (Orange) Armor?

Big ElephantJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

Here we go again, folks. The liberal media, still obsessed with their leftist agenda, is twisting President Trump’s words about…

Spirit Airlines to Fire a Bunch of Pilots and Make the Rest Feel Bad Because Nobody Wants to Fly Spirit Anyway
Elephant Reads CNN

Spirit Airlines to Fire a Bunch of Pilots and Make the Rest Feel Bad Because Nobody Wants to Fly Spirit Anyway

Big ElephantJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

Folks, can you believe what these woke airlines are doing now? Spirit Airlines, probably run by some tree-hugging, socialist CEO,…

Newark Airport Delays: FAA’s Game of Relocation Roulette to Blame
Elephant Reads CNN

Newark Airport Delays: FAA’s Game of Relocation Roulette to Blame

Big ElephantJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

Another day, another deep dive into the Swamp’s schemes! CNN is *reporting* that the DOT’s Inspector General is “auditing” the…

CNN Business: Trump’s ‘Biggest Deal Ever’ or Europe’s Surrender? You Decide
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Business: Trump’s ‘Biggest Deal Ever’ or Europe’s Surrender? You Decide

Big ElephantJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

Another brilliant victory for President Trump! He’s making deals so big, the EU is crying into their croissants. Seems like…

Wakanda Forever? More Like Wakanda Whenever, Says Confused Disney+
Breaking, Movie News

Wakanda Forever? More Like Wakanda Whenever, Says Confused Disney+

FinnJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

Oh, great, another Marvel cartoon 🙄. As if we didn’t have enough superhero content already. Brace yourselves, folks, because Disney+…

Joe Elliott Gushes Over Geezer Ozzy: “He’s, Like, A Rock God Or Something”
Breaking, Music News

Joe Elliott Gushes Over Geezer Ozzy: “He’s, Like, A Rock God Or Something”

Chord F. DiscordJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

In a recent interview with Fox 13 Seattle’s pathetic excuse for a morning show, “Good Day Seattle,” DEF LEPPARD’s perpetually…

5 Things You NEED to Know on July 28th (Or the World Might Explode)
Elephant Reads CNN

5 Things You NEED to Know on July 28th (Or the World Might Explode)

Big ElephantJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

Well, folks, another day, another desperate attempt by the liberal media to undermine our GREAT President Trump! First up, a…

President Curtis: Keith David’s Newest Multiversal Misadventure (That You Probably Won’t Understand)
Breaking, Movie News

President Curtis: Keith David’s Newest Multiversal Misadventure (That You Probably Won’t Understand)

FinnJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

Adult Swim, in their infinite wisdom (or maybe they just ran out of ideas 💡), has graced us with a…

Dow Jones Inches Toward ‘Record’ High After US-EU Trade Deal (Probably Won’t Last) | CNN Business
Elephant Reads CNN

Dow Jones Inches Toward ‘Record’ High After US-EU Trade Deal (Probably Won’t Last) | CNN Business

Big ElephantJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

Folks, the stock market is SOARING! Looks like our GREAT President Trump just keeps WINNING! The Dow is about to…

OMG! Jason’s Back (Again!) – New Movie & Game Announced (Because We Needed More)
Breaking, Games News

OMG! Jason’s Back (Again!) – New Movie & Game Announced (Because We Needed More)

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJuly 28, 2025July 28, 2025

OMG! 😱 Did you guys hear? Some nobody at Horror Inc. (yeah, never heard of them either) mumbled something about…

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Latest posts

  • Floor Jansen Ditches Symphonic Stuff For Actual Metal Because You Begged Her To
  • Because The Original Wasnt Traumatizing Enough For Modern Audiences
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Lindsey Graham remains defiant unwavering senator and soldier statesman
  • Mike Browning of Morbid Angel and Nocturnus passes away at 62
  • JAY-Z Returns to Yankee Stadium in Triumphant Homecoming Show

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Editorial 2026 main
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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