Glacier-chasing yachts for clueless tourists, pink ribbons for profit, and pointless step counting: Read our groundbreaking news
👋 Welcome to 5 Things PM! More like 5 Ways the Liberal Media is Trying to Brainwash You! They want…
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Cops Cashin’ In (But Not You, Lol)
The Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! They’re trying to make it sound like President Trump is causing…
Bad Omens Drops New Emo Anthem ‘Dying To Love’ (Cringe Alert)
OMG 🙄, BAD OMENS, the band that thinks screaming is singing 🎤, just dropped another “banger” called “Dying To Love”.…
Fact Check: Trump Says Portland’s Still Ash, CNN’s Still Clueless
Oh, CNN, always so eager to undermine our glorious President Trump! So, he said Portland is “burning down”? Well, isn’t…
‘It’s the right question to ask’: GOP Rep Says Trump Only Wants 230 Million Pennies From DOJ, Is That Too Much To Ask?
Another day, another witch hunt debunked! Our glorious President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is making the corrupt DOJ pay…
CNN Asks the REAL Questions: Trump’s East Wing Got Got, Was it an Inside Job
Oh, the horror! President Trump, in his infinite wisdom, is building a ballroom at the White House, and the Left…
U.S. Military Accidentally-on-Purpose Sinks Boat in Pacific, Citing “War on Drugs” as Excuse
Another win for President Trump! SecDef Hegseth just vaporized some narco-terrorists in the Pacific! These losers thought they could bring…
Darkseid Did Nothing Wrong: A Defense of the Benevolent Ruler of Apokolips in the New DCU
😂Oh noes! 😱Darkseid, the big baddie of all big baddies, the guy who makes Thanos look like a fluffy bunny🐰,…
UN blames cutting welfare for making the right wing extra spicy, says CNN Business (lol)
Oh, the horror! The UN, that bastion of anti-Americanism and globalist garbage, is whining that cuts to social programs are…
UVA Settling with Trump? You Won’t BELIEVE What Happened NEXT
Another day, another victory for President Trump as he continues to drain the swamp of liberal indoctrination centers! It seems…