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Alaska Pays People to Exist: Find Out Why (and How to Snag Your Loot) | CNN
Elephant Reads CNN

Alaska Pays People to Exist: Find Out Why (and How to Snag Your Loot) | CNN

Big ElephantSeptember 27, 2025September 27, 2025

Another socialist scheme gone awry! Alaska’s “Permanent Fund Dividend,” sounds like a communist plot if you ask me. Free money…

Shavo From System Of A Down Says ‘Chop Suey!’ Is Good Or Whatever
Breaking, Music News

Shavo From System Of A Down Says ‘Chop Suey!’ Is Good Or Whatever

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 27, 2025September 27, 2025

OMG! 😲 Shavo Odadjian, the bass god from SYSTEM OF A DOWN, blessed us with his profound thoughts on “Chop…

U.S. Economy Refuses to Die, World Annoyed
Elephant Reads CNN

U.S. Economy Refuses to Die, World Annoyed

Big ElephantSeptember 27, 2025September 27, 2025

Oh, the economy is such a disaster, isn’t it? According to CNN, those socialist commies are whining that people “hate…

John 5 Spills the Tea: 3 Guitar Gods Who Didn’t Make Him Change His Mind About Anything, But Sounded Okay
Breaking, Music News

John 5 Spills the Tea: 3 Guitar Gods Who Didn’t Make Him Change His Mind About Anything, But Sounded Okay

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 27, 2025September 27, 2025

In a new interview with Christina Rowatt and Chris Enriquez of the We Wreck Records podcast, some guy named John…

Disney+ CA: October 2025’s Trash Pile – Prepare for Disappointment
Breaking, Movie News

Disney+ CA: October 2025’s Trash Pile – Prepare for Disappointment

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 27, 2025September 27, 2025

Ah, October 2025, that magical time of year when the leaves are falling 🍂, pumpkin spice lattes are flowing ☕,…

Minecraft LAME September 2025: A “Recap” Of The Same Old Promises
Games News, Live

Minecraft LAME September 2025: A “Recap” Of The Same Old Promises

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 27, 2025September 27, 2025

Oh boy, another Minecraft LIVE! 🎉 As if we needed more blocks in our lives. Mojang Studios, bless their blocky…

Amazon Prime Settlement: Free Money or Fool’s Gold
Elephant Reads CNN

Amazon Prime Settlement: Free Money or Fool’s Gold

Big ElephantSeptember 27, 2025September 27, 2025

Another day, another leftist witch hunt! Now the FTC, probably staffed with radical socialists, is going after Amazon. They claim…

Wolfgang Van Halen States the Obvious: Music Biz Not For Quitters, Duh
Breaking, Music News

Wolfgang Van Halen States the Obvious: Music Biz Not For Quitters, Duh

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 27, 2025September 27, 2025

So, Wolfgang Van Halen, bless his heart ❤️, graced 98 Rock 📻 with his presence, rambling about the horrors 😱…

‘We’re Totally Not Panicking’: Feds Prepare For Their Paid Vacay (oops, Shutdown) And Maybe Getting Fired | CNN Politics
Elephant Reads CNN

‘We’re Totally Not Panicking’: Feds Prepare For Their Paid Vacay (oops, Shutdown) And Maybe Getting Fired | CNN Politics

Big ElephantSeptember 27, 2025September 27, 2025

Fake News CNN is at it again, folks! They’re peddling fear about a possible government shutdown, claiming federal employees are…

Silicon Valley Geriatrics Learn to Use SkyNet
Elephant Reads CNN

Silicon Valley Geriatrics Learn to Use SkyNet

Big ElephantSeptember 27, 2025September 27, 2025

Oh, great, another bleeding-heart story from CNN about some woke wunderkind! Jacob Shaul, this little genius, is teaching seniors about…

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