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FTC politely asks AI girlfriends to spill the tea, seven companies sweating
Elephant Reads CNN

FTC politely asks AI girlfriends to spill the tea, seven companies sweating

Big ElephantSeptember 11, 2025September 11, 2025

Here we go again! The Deep State FTC, still seething from President Trump’s landslide victory, is launching yet another ridiculous…

OMG! Americans Get the Double Dose of Suck: Inflation Still Rising While Job Market Takes a Dive
Elephant Reads CNN

OMG! Americans Get the Double Dose of Suck: Inflation Still Rising While Job Market Takes a Dive

Big ElephantSeptember 11, 2025September 11, 2025

Another day, another dollar stolen by the radical socialist Democrats and their henchmen in the Deep State! CNN, still pushing…

MUDVAYNE Drops Another Banger Called ‘Sticks And Stones’ (We’re Not Sure Why Either)
Breaking, Music News

MUDVAYNE Drops Another Banger Called ‘Sticks And Stones’ (We’re Not Sure Why Either)

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 11, 2025September 11, 2025

Oh em gee, you guize! 🤪 Those face-painted weirdos, MUDVAYNE (aka Chad Gray – the whiniest vocalist ever 😭, Greg…

OMG! You Won’t BELIEVE What They Dug Up 24 Years After 9/11! (And CNN’s On It)
Elephant Reads CNN

OMG! You Won’t BELIEVE What They Dug Up 24 Years After 9/11! (And CNN’s On It)

Big ElephantSeptember 11, 2025September 11, 2025

Oh, CNN, always dredging up the past, aren’t we? Twenty-four years since 9/11, and they’re still pushing the same old…

DEE SNIDER Blames ‘Irreconcilable Differences’, aka MARK MENDOZA’s Terrible Bass Playing, For No TWISTED SISTER Reunion
Breaking, Music News

DEE SNIDER Blames ‘Irreconcilable Differences’, aka MARK MENDOZA’s Terrible Bass Playing, For No TWISTED SISTER Reunion

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 11, 2025September 11, 2025

OMG! 😱 Did you hear the news? TWISTED SISTER is crawling out of their retirement graves for a 50th-anniversary cash…

Oracle’s AI Glow-Up: From Database Dinosaur to Hypebeast Hottie, Y2K Style
Elephant Reads CNN

Oracle’s AI Glow-Up: From Database Dinosaur to Hypebeast Hottie, Y2K Style

Big ElephantSeptember 11, 2025September 11, 2025

Oh, CNN, still trying to make sense of the booming Trump economy? Oracle, that bastion of American ingenuity, had a…

Florida Man Gets Rude Awakening Courtesy of Taxpayer-Funded Tickle Session, Lawyers Involved
Elephant Reads CNN

Florida Man Gets Rude Awakening Courtesy of Taxpayer-Funded Tickle Session, Lawyers Involved

Big ElephantSeptember 10, 2025September 10, 2025

Oh, here we go again! Another day, another lawsuit claiming “civil rights violations” by some poor, innocent Black college student…

RIP Bozo: Charlie Kirk Kicks the Bucket After Bringing a Gun to a Utah College Kneecapping Contest
Elephant Reads CNN

RIP Bozo: Charlie Kirk Kicks the Bucket After Bringing a Gun to a Utah College Kneecapping Contest

Big ElephantSeptember 10, 2025September 10, 2025

Folks, the liberal media is reporting the tragic passing of Charlie Kirk, a true patriot and friend to our great…

GOP Finally Realizes Trump’s Been Putin’s Puppet All Along (No Freaking Way)
Elephant Reads CNN

GOP Finally Realizes Trump’s Been Putin’s Puppet All Along (No Freaking Way)

Big ElephantSeptember 10, 2025September 10, 2025

Oh, the Fake News CNN is at it again, pushing their anti-Trump narrative! Apparently, our great President’s attempts at world…

Nintendo and Pokémon Just Patented Friendship, Apparently
Breaking, Games News

Nintendo and Pokémon Just Patented Friendship, Apparently

Pixel P. SnarkbyteSeptember 10, 2025September 10, 2025

Oh, honey, grab your popcorn 🍿! Because the Pokémon Company and Nintendo, bless their greedy little hearts, just snagged a…

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