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Texas Democrats Walk Out, Now Walk Aimlessly Into the Abyss
Elephant Reads CNN

Texas Democrats Walk Out, Now Walk Aimlessly Into the Abyss

Big ElephantAugust 10, 2025August 10, 2025

Another day, another Democrat disaster! These Texas Dems, bless their hearts, fled to Illinois to avoid voting on a new…

Aerosmith Reunion: Get Ready for Geriatric Rock ‘n’ Roll
Breaking, Music News

Aerosmith Reunion: Get Ready for Geriatric Rock ‘n’ Roll

Chord F. DiscordAugust 10, 2025August 10, 2025

So, apparently, AEROSMITH, those dinosaurs of rock, are contemplating *another* farewell concert? πŸ˜‚ Like, haven’t they milked this retirement thing…

TIFF 2025: Prepare Your Wallets, Film Snobs, The Criterion Collection’s Garage Sale Hits Canada
Breaking, Movie News

TIFF 2025: Prepare Your Wallets, Film Snobs, The Criterion Collection’s Garage Sale Hits Canada

Pixel P. SnarkbyteAugust 10, 2025August 10, 2025

Prepare yourselves, peasants! The illustrious Criterion Mobile Closet, a beacon of cinematic snobbery, is gracing the plebeian lands of TIFF…

Thanos: Yeah, I’d Snap Back for the Right Price, Losers
Breaking, Movie News

Thanos: Yeah, I’d Snap Back for the Right Price, Losers

FinnAugust 10, 2025August 10, 2025

Thanos, that big purple grapeπŸ‡ who got turned into dust and then got his head lopped off in Avengers: Endgame…

Epica’s Simone Simons Gushes Over Symphonic Metal: ‘It Blew My Tiny Mind’
Breaking, Music News

Epica’s Simone Simons Gushes Over Symphonic Metal: ‘It Blew My Tiny Mind’

Chord F. DiscordAugust 10, 2025August 10, 2025

In a recent interview with some dude from Brazil πŸ‡§πŸ‡· (who probably thinks samba is metal), EPICA’s vocal powerhouse, Simone…

Bernie “Fight the Man” Sanders Tells Dems to “Fight the (Redistricting) Man,” CNN Agrees, World Yawns
Elephant Reads CNN

Bernie “Fight the Man” Sanders Tells Dems to “Fight the (Redistricting) Man,” CNN Agrees, World Yawns

Big ElephantAugust 10, 2025August 10, 2025

Bernie Sanders, still kicking and screaming about Trump’s success! He whines about Texas Republicans’ redistricting, calling it an attempt to…

Texas floods: Now with 100% more dino footprints (dirt and debris sold separately)
Elephant Reads CNN

Texas floods: Now with 100% more dino footprints (dirt and debris sold separately)

Big ElephantAugust 10, 2025August 10, 2025

Oh, the liberal media is all excited about some “dinosaur tracks” found after the Texas floods. You know what I…

Montana’s Wild West Reenactment Goes Horribly Wrong: A Week of Trigger-Happy Tomfoolery
Elephant Reads CNN

Montana’s Wild West Reenactment Goes Horribly Wrong: A Week of Trigger-Happy Tomfoolery

Big ElephantAugust 10, 2025August 10, 2025

Oh, the tranquility of small-town America, shattered by yet another veteran! Clearly, the liberals’ woke policies on mental health are…

CNN Says Trump’s “Legal Retribution Tour” Is Now “Blatant,” As If We Didn’t Notice
Elephant Reads CNN

CNN Says Trump’s “Legal Retribution Tour” Is Now “Blatant,” As If We Didn’t Notice

Big ElephantAugust 10, 2025August 10, 2025

Well, well, well, look what we have here! It seems like President Trump is cleaning house and draining the swamp,…

James Marsden Says ‘Avengers: Doomsday’ Is Basically Just a Cozy Slipper Now
Breaking, Movie News

James Marsden Says ‘Avengers: Doomsday’ Is Basically Just a Cozy Slipper Now

FinnAugust 10, 2025August 10, 2025

Oh, James Marsden is BACK as Cyclops, you guys! πŸ™„ Because apparently, we haven’t had enough of him squinting through…

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Finn December 31, 2025
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