Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: Metalheads

FEAR FACTORY’s ‘Demanufacture’ 30th-Anniversary Tour: Old Dudes, Old Songs, Same Factory Smell
Breaking, Music News

FEAR FACTORY’s ‘Demanufacture’ 30th-Anniversary Tour: Old Dudes, Old Songs, Same Factory Smell

Chord F. DiscordJuly 19, 2025July 19, 2025

FEAR FACTORY, or as I like to call them, “Dino Cazares and Some Guys,” decided to dust off their grandpa…

70000 TONS OF METAL Cruise Dumps Crappy Island, Reveals Band Lineup (as if you care) For 2026 Booze Cruise
Live, Music News

70000 TONS OF METAL Cruise Dumps Crappy Island, Reveals Band Lineup (as if you care) For 2026 Booze Cruise

Chord F. DiscordJuly 9, 2025July 9, 2025

70000 Tons Of Metal, or as I like to call it, “70000 Tons of Disappointment,” has bravely announced a change…

SLAYER’s Back, Apparently London Didn’t Suffer Enough The First Time
Breaking, Music News

SLAYER’s Back, Apparently London Didn’t Suffer Enough The First Time

Chord F. DiscordJuly 7, 2025July 7, 2025

So, the geriatric thrash metal “legends” 👴 SLAYER, fresh from their crypts, decided to grace us with their presence for…

Behold! A Complete Pilgrimage to the OZZY OSBOURNE ‘Working Class Hero’ Shrine in the Land of Birmingham
Breaking, Music News

Behold! A Complete Pilgrimage to the OZZY OSBOURNE ‘Working Class Hero’ Shrine in the Land of Birmingham

Chord F. DiscordJuly 5, 2025July 5, 2025

Metal Pilgrim has uploaded a full video tour of the the Ozzy Osbourne “Working Class Hero” exhibition, which opened in…

BLACK SABBATH Recreated In LEGO Bricks Because Their Music Wasn’t Repetitive Enough
Breaking, Music News

BLACK SABBATH Recreated In LEGO Bricks Because Their Music Wasn’t Repetitive Enough

Chord F. DiscordJuly 2, 2025July 2, 2025

Hold onto your dentures, metalheads! 🤘 The geriatric titans of heavy metal, BLACK SABBATH, have officially sold their souls to…

Slipknot, Lamb of God, and Anthrax Members Spotted at ‘Comic Con Birmingham’ – Metalheads Gone Wild
Live

Slipknot, Lamb of God, and Anthrax Members Spotted at ‘Comic Con Birmingham’ – Metalheads Gone Wild

Chord F. DiscordJune 30, 2025June 30, 2025

Monopoly Events, those purveyors of slightly-less-disappointing-than-expected fan gatherings in the U.K., are thrilled to announce the launch of Comic Con…

HATEBREED’s WAYNE LOZINAK Plans Brain Tumor’s Eviction Notice ASAP
Breaking, Music News

HATEBREED’s WAYNE LOZINAK Plans Brain Tumor’s Eviction Notice ASAP

Chord F. DiscordJune 29, 2025June 29, 2025

So, apparently, HATEBREED’s Wayne Lozinak, the guy who shreds (or at least pretends to) on guitar, had a little something…

📢 Sadist just announced a Russia tour — and metalheads are DONE with them 📛
Videos

📢 Sadist just announced a Russia tour — and metalheads are DONE with them 📛

Chuck B. BallsyJune 29, 2025

The Italian metal band Sadist is scheduled to perform in St. Petersburg (Nov 6) and Moscow (Nov 7, 2025). In…

MACHINE HEAD Forced To Play With Random Dude Named ZACK OHREN At Norway’s TONS OF ROCK Festival
Breaking, Music News

MACHINE HEAD Forced To Play With Random Dude Named ZACK OHREN At Norway’s TONS OF ROCK Festival

Chord F. DiscordJune 29, 2025June 29, 2025

Hey there, metalheads! 🤘 Your favorite Bay Area band, MACHINE HEAD, allegedly kicked off their “summer” 2025 European tour on…

Metallica’s ‘Hometown’ Concerts: A Behind-the-Scenes Look at Their 2025 ‘M72’ Tour (Spoiler: They’re Still in San Francisco)
Breaking, Music News

Metallica’s ‘Hometown’ Concerts: A Behind-the-Scenes Look at Their 2025 ‘M72’ Tour (Spoiler: They’re Still in San Francisco)

Chord F. DiscordJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

So, METALLICA’s tour coordinator, this dude Jon-Michael Marino (who?), gave KPIX (aka CBS Bay Area, which, let’s be honest, nobody…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 7 8 9 … 11 Next

Latest posts

  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Lindsey Graham dies a true American Patriot says Donald J Trump
  • Lindsey Graham’s Senate Career Ends Abruptly, Not a Moment Too Soon
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social July 11 2026
  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS Donald Trump posts on Truth Social July 11 2026
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE Donald Trump posts on Truth Social on July 11 2026

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}