Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Spin the fake!
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
    • Legalizer
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Tag: RIP

Live

“RIP Your Wallet: 90s & 2000s Hip-Hop & R&B Party Where Everyone’s Free (Even Your Ex)”

Chuck B. BallsyMarch 5, 2026

**Get ready to throw it back harder than your ex’s mixtape!** 🎤 90s & 2000s Hip-Hop and R&B party at…

TOMAHAWK To Rip Your Ears Off After 13-Year Nap; Summer Tour Will Be Powered By THE MELVINS’ Cosmic Fuzz
OH, GREAT. TOMAHAWK AND THE MELVINS ARE GOING ON TOUR AGAIN.
Breaking, Live, Music News

TOMAHAWK To Rip Your Ears Off After 13-Year Nap; Summer Tour Will Be Powered By THE MELVINS’ Cosmic Fuzz

Chord F. DiscordFebruary 23, 2026February 23, 2026

In what can only be described as a desperate attempt to relive their glory days, TOMAHAWK is hitting the road…

Eric Dane, ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ Star, Dies at 53 — McSteamy’s Last Plot Twist Was a Real Heartbreaker
Breaking, Movie News

Eric Dane, ‘Grey’s Anatomy’ Star, Dies at 53 — McSteamy’s Last Plot Twist Was a Real Heartbreaker

FinnFebruary 20, 2026February 20, 2026

Oh no, not McSteamy! Eric Dane has left the building, and it’s not a Grey’s Anatomy plot twist this time.…

RIP Mark Sawickis of Impetigo
Videos

RIP Mark Sawickis of Impetigo

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 16, 2026

A true underground legend Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,”…

Robert Duvall, Hollywood Legend and ‘The Godfather’ Star, Dies – Fans Now Forced to Rewatch His Movies Without Him Criticizing the Casting Choices
Breaking, Movie News

Robert Duvall, Hollywood Legend and ‘The Godfather’ Star, Dies – Fans Now Forced to Rewatch His Movies Without Him Criticizing the Casting Choices

FinnFebruary 16, 2026February 16, 2026

Hold onto your berets and suspenders, folks, because Hollywood’s grumpiest legend has ridden off into the sunset — and not…

Prime Video’s Global Showcase: Because Your Couch Needs More Foreign Drama This Week
Prime Video Just Dropped an International Content Bombshell, and You're Gonna Need a Passport to Keep Up
Breaking, Movie News

Prime Video’s Global Showcase: Because Your Couch Needs More Foreign Drama This Week

Pixel P. SnarkbyteFebruary 13, 2026February 13, 2026

Prime Video decided to flex its global muscles this week, hosting what can only be described as the United Nations…

“Porto Queer Book Club – RIP to Our Favorite Page-Turners”
Live

“Porto Queer Book Club – RIP to Our Favorite Page-Turners”

Chuck B. BallsyFebruary 5, 2026

Ah, o Porto Queer Book Club está de volta, e desta vez com mais exclusividade do que um clube VIP…

Live

DOM DOLLA – San Jose Street Party or How to Turn Your Neighborhood Into a Club Without a Permit

Chuck B. BallsyJanuary 28, 2026

🚨🚨 SOLD OUT, BUT KEEP DREAMING, LOSERS! 🚨🚨 JOIN THE WAITLIST HERE: https://domdolla.lnk.to/SanJoseWaitlist (because hope is free) FOR RESELL +…

White House Cowers in Corner as Minnesota Twitter Storm Nightmare Unfolds, Drama Llama Plots Escalation
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

White House Cowers in Corner as Minnesota Twitter Storm Nightmare Unfolds, Drama Llama Plots Escalation

Big ElephantJanuary 27, 2026January 27, 2026

President Trump graciously extends olive branch to incompetent Minnesota Democrats after they begged for federal help cleaning up their illegal…

Privacy in Gaming, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Data Miners
Breaking, Games News

Privacy in Gaming, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Data Miners

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJanuary 22, 2026January 22, 2026

Hold onto your joysticks and prepare your wallets, because the digital world is having a massive, sweaty, irreversibleIdentity crisis. Remember…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 3 4 5 … 18 Next

Latest posts

  • Kamala Harris’ Home Security Actually Works For Once
  • Trump Administration’s Brilliant FEMA Firings Deemed Totally Not Legal
  • Celine Dion Returns to Stage in Paris After Six Years
  • Spin of the Day: Slate Pears Game 394: Sept. 12, 2026 — 87% Journalism Not Found
  • Hegseth desperately tries to make Iran rescue sound exciting

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
September 2026
S M T W T F S
 12345
6789101112
13141516171819
20212223242526
27282930  
« Aug    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.