Lucasfilm has done it again, folks. Just when you thought the Star Wars universe couldn’t squeeze out another plot twist, here comes the announcement of a brand-new trilogy. And who’s at the helm of this soon-to-be space spectacle? None other than Simon Kinberg, the screenwriter who has been tasked with recycling nostalgia and adding a sprinkle of progressive magic. Accompanying him is Kathleen Kennedy, who’s been captaining the Star Wars ship like it’s a yacht in stormy waters. 🚢✨
What’s particularly amusing in this new trilogy’s reveal is the absence of director Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy’s name. Despite the whispers of her set to bring an «agenda-infused» perspective to the galaxy, she’s still stuck with that mysteriously titled project, Star Wars: New Jedi Order (coming in 2026). Oh, the suspense! Is Lucasfilm hinting that their next move might not be as politically loaded as expected? Or are they just trying to keep things spicy by pretending they won’t dip the entire saga into more socio-political syrup? Only time will tell, but insiders say we’re in for some eyebrow-raising changes. 🙄✌️
According to the always-reliable grapevine at Lucasfilm, the new trilogy is reportedly a frame-by-frame remake of George Lucas’s classic trio, but with added «color» — literally and metaphorically. Forget the green Yoda you know; meet Yoda 2.0, now blacker than the far side of the moon. And Chewbacca? Let’s just say their pronouns are now they/them. Princess Leia, once a rebel icon, will now champion her intergalactic Instagram account as a vocal pro-Palestinian activist. 🌌✍️
And we have ten working titles for the new Star Wars trilogy:
- Star Wars: The Force of Inclusion 🚀⚧️
- A New Ally ✨🕵️
- The Last Jedi’s Non-Binary Cousin 👫⚧️
- The Mandalorian’s Emotional Journey 🦾❤️
- Woke One: A Star Wars Story 🙄
- The Force Runs on Empathy ⚧️🛡️
- A New Era of Feelings 😢
- The Rebel Alliance HR Handbook 📖✌️
- The Phantom Sensitivity 😅
- Return of the Virtue Signaler 🌌✍️
