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Day: June 4, 2025

No Man’s Sky Adds Settlement Building and Hopium for a Switch 2 Port
Breaking

No Man’s Sky Adds Settlement Building and Hopium for a Switch 2 Port

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 4, 2025June 4, 2025

Ah, No Man’s Sky, the game that launched with all the promise of a unicorn 🦄 riding a rainbow 🌈,…

USS Harvey Milk To Be Renamed ‘USS No Homo’
Babylon Bee

USS Harvey Milk To Be Renamed ‘USS No Homo’

FinnJune 4, 2025

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The United States Navy announced this morning that the USS Harvey Milk will be officially renamed the…

Metallica in Charlotte, NC (05/31/2025)
Videos

Metallica in Charlotte, NC (05/31/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyJune 4, 2025

America's #1 Heavy Metal from Los Angeles! Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The…

Peter Hook & the Light in Asheville, NC (06/03/2025)
Videos

Peter Hook & the Light in Asheville, NC (06/03/2025)

Chuck B. BallsyJune 4, 2025

English post-punk! Chuck B. BallsyChuck B. Ballsy, affectionately known in the satirical world as “The Sultan of Snark,” is a…

Ubisoft Backward 2025 event: when your best game is still from 2003
Games News

Ubisoft Backward 2025 event: when your best game is still from 2003

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 4, 2025June 4, 2025

In a bold display of creative bankruptcy, Ubisoft announced they’re scrapping their usual Ubisoft Forward event and replacing it with…

Heartbroken: Band Loses Instruments, Finds New Appreciation for Silence Before AC Gig
Breaking

Heartbroken: Band Loses Instruments, Finds New Appreciation for Silence Before AC Gig

Chord F. DiscordJune 4, 2025June 4, 2025

Legendary (debatable) rockers HEART (still around?) have announced that two “irreplaceable” (eye roll) instruments were stolen from the band prior…

“Unforgettable” New Movie Guaranteed to Make You Gasp (and Maybe Snore)
Breaking

“Unforgettable” New Movie Guaranteed to Make You Gasp (and Maybe Snore)

FinnJune 4, 2025June 4, 2025

Oh boy, film “fans” are “eagerly” awaiting another pretentious art-house flick that’s apparently so mind-blowing, it’s making people gasp louder…

SEETHER And DAUGHTRY Announce Geriatric U.S. Tour With P-O-D-unk
Breaking

SEETHER And DAUGHTRY Announce Geriatric U.S. Tour With P-O-D-unk

Chord F. DiscordJune 4, 2025June 4, 2025

OMG! SEETHER and DAUGHTRY, the dynamic duo of dad-rock despair, are gracing the U.S. with their presence this fall! 🎸🤮…

SODOM Drops New Single ‘Taphephobia’ – Are They Afraid of Tap Dancing Now
Breaking

SODOM Drops New Single ‘Taphephobia’ – Are They Afraid of Tap Dancing Now

Chord F. DiscordJune 4, 2025June 4, 2025

OMG! 😱 Thrash metal dinosaurs SODOM, who probably still think it’s cool to wear studded belts indoors, have dropped a…

3 Forgotten Flops You Can Hate-Watch in June 2025
Breaking

3 Forgotten Flops You Can Hate-Watch in June 2025

FinnJune 4, 2025June 3, 2025

If you’re desperately clawing for something to watch and have exhausted every cat video on YouTube, “Watch With Us” is…

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  • Obama lackey begs Iran for pathetic peace deal somehow
  • Liberal LA Mayor declares emergency over minor warehouse fire obviously

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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

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