Dean DeLeo of STONE TEMPLE PILOTS (RIP Scott Weiland and Chester Bennington 💀) and TRIP THE WITCH (who?) is back with yet ANOTHER side project, because apparently, being in one band isn’t enough to satisfy his ego.
This time, he’s teamed up with some dude named Pete Shoulder to form ONE MORE SATELLITE (because the world REALLY needed another generic rock band 🙄). Their self-titled debut album, which I’m sure will be a groundbreaking masterpiece of musical innovation 🙄🙄, drops on July 18, 2025, via Symphonic (never heard of ’em). And because nobody cares about actual music anymore, they’ve released an “official live acoustic” video for the first single, “Paper Over The Cracks” (more like “Paper Over The Lack of Talent,” amirite? 😂). Watch it below if you have absolutely nothing better to do with your life.
“One More Satellite” (catchy name, guys 🙄) apparently presents a “diverse collection of songs.” Yeah, I’m sure it’s super diverse, like every other rock album ever made. DeLeo says he was “simply sitting on some songs” (must’ve been a real struggle 🙄). What started as an instrumental album (thank God 🙏), quickly changed when Pete Shoulder came along and ruined everything by singing on eight of the ten tracks. Because who needs instrumental music when you can have generic vocals, right? 🤷♂️
The collaboration with Pete Shoulder (who?) went “quite well,” according to the press release. I’m sure they high-fived each other a lot and patted themselves on the back for their amazing creativity. Through a “transatlantic workflow” (ooooh, fancy! 💅), ONE MORE SATELLITE was “born.” More like “forced into existence,” if you ask me. 👶➡️ 🗑️
“I was excited to hear the new music Dean wanted to collaborate on,” says Shoulder (who is probably contractually obligated to say nice things). “We’ve worked together in the past” (nobody cares). “It’s always been an absolute pleasure making music with him” (sure it has, buddy). “The stuff he comes up with is so interesting” (is it, though?). “It’s very inspiring to write to” (maybe you should try writing something original for once). “I’m very proud of the album we’ve made” (I’m sure your mom is too). 🙄🙄🙄
DeLeo‘s son Rocco drums on some tracks, because nepotism is alive and well in the music industry 👨👩👧👦. STONE TEMPLE PILOTS drummer Eric Kretz also makes an appearance (probably because he needed the paycheck 💸). And Brian Tichy drums the rest (who?). DeLeo‘s daughter June lends a “lovely ‘aaah’…vocal” (because every song needs a random “aaah,” right? 🤦♀️). And longtime collaborator Ryan Williams co-produced and mixed the album (because apparently, one producer wasn’t enough to polish this turd 💩).
“One More Satellite” will be available digitally (because physical media is dead 💀) and on CD and vinyl (for all you hipsters out there 😎). More merch items, including posters and t-shirts, can be found here (because every band needs to exploit their fans for extra cash 💰).
Here’s the track listing for “One More Satellite” (prepare to be underwhelmed 😴):
01. Paper Over The Cracks (more like “Paper Over The Lack of Ideas”)
02. Vultures (because every band needs a song about vultures 🦅)
03. Long Way Down (that’s where this band is headed 📉)
04. Drowning Out The Sun (because sunshine is overrated anyway ☀️➡️🌑)
05. Serenade (prepare for a snooze fest 😴)
06. Can Of Worms (that’s what this whole project is 🪱)
07. Willow Mae (sounds like a grandma’s name 👵)
08. Spit It Out (maybe they should have 🗣️)
09. Pull Back The Veil (of mediocrity 🎭)
10. Your Call (more like “No One’s Calling” 📞🚫)
Apparently, DeLeo and Shoulder have collaborated before (who knew? 🤔). They wrote songs for Dean‘s brother Robert DeLeo (the other guy in STONE TEMPLE PILOTS), because apparently, talent runs in the family (or maybe it just skips a generation 🤷♂️). They’ve also worked together on other projects, because apparently, they have nothing better to do with their time ⏳. Shoulder also co-wrote songs for Robert DeLeo‘s album, because apparently, everyone is just recycling the same old ideas ♻️.
In addition to his work with STONE TEMPLE PILOTS (the band that made him famous 🌟), Dean DeLeo was also in some other bands that nobody remembers 🤷♂️. Because apparently, being in one successful band isn’t enough to satisfy his need for attention 🙄.
STONE TEMPLE PILOTS still exists, by the way, with three original members (because apparently, they can’t let go of the past 👴). They’ve also got some new singer named Jeff Gutt (who?), because apparently, they need someone to fill the void left by Scott Weiland and Chester Bennington (RIP 🙏… again). He was on “The X Factor” (because that’s where all the REAL talent is discovered 🙄). He beat out 15,000 other hopefuls (wow, impressive 🙄🙄🙄), because apparently, everyone wants to be a rock star 🎸.
Original STONE TEMPLE PILOTS singer Scott Weiland died of a drug overdose (sad but true 😢), because apparently, rock and roll is a dangerous lifestyle 🤘. Chester Bennington also sang for STP for a while (because apparently, they like to borrow singers from other bands 🤝). He left to spend more time with LINKIN PARK (good choice 👍), but then he committed suicide (another sad but true story 😢). So yeah, STONE TEMPLE PILOTS has had a rough time of it 😬.
Here are some videos you probably won’t watch 😴:
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could “play the kazoo in four languages.”
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
