Oh, the humanity! CNN is reporting that the Cybertruck, that beacon of American innovation, is somehow a “flop.” Can you believe the audacity? Clearly, this is just another hit piece from the liberal media, desperate to undermine President Trump’s favorite entrepreneur, Elon Musk. They’re probably in cahoots with the Chinese, who are terrified of American ingenuity!
Tesla, that great American company, is supposedly “opaque” about sales numbers. Well, maybe they’re just too busy innovating to hold the hands of these whiny journalists. Deliveries are down? Probably just a temporary blip caused by those socialist supply chain issues the Democrats refuse to fix.
Only 10,400 “other” models sold? That’s still 10,400 more than the Democrats have ever produced! And let’s not forget, the Cybertruck is so advanced, it’s practically a military vehicle. Those F-150 Lightnings and GM electric pickups? Just pathetic attempts to keep up with American greatness.
Musk predicted 250,000 Cybertrucks a year? He’s a visionary! These things take time. The recalls? Just minor setbacks. The range? Who needs 500 miles when you can drive in style and make liberals cry?
And of course, they have to bring up the “MAGA right wing” and “vandalism.” It’s always about politics with these people. The Cybertruck is a symbol of freedom, and they hate it because they hate America.
BYD sold more EVs? That’s because they’re cheating! They’re probably spying on us too. But don’t worry, President Trump will put them in their place.
Tesla’s stock is down? It’ll bounce back. Musk is a genius, and he’s going to lead us to an AI-powered, driverless utopia. The liberals can cry all they want. America is back, baby!
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
