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Day: December 30, 2025

Alleged DC Pipe Bomber to Grace Detention Hearing—Lawyers Beg for His Freedom Because Obviously Jail Is Too Harsh for a Guy with a Pipe Dream
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Alleged DC Pipe Bomber to Grace Detention Hearing—Lawyers Beg for His Freedom Because Obviously Jail Is Too Harsh for a Guy with a Pipe Dream

Big ElephantDecember 30, 2025December 30, 2025

Leftist Lunatic Claims Autism Excuse to Avoid Jail After Pipe Bomb Plot – Because of Course He’s a Snowflake In…

Shaq to the Rescue: Pays for 7-Foot-3 Future Cop to Try the Test Again Because Apparently Height Isn’t the Only Thing That Doesn’t Measure Up
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Shaq to the Rescue: Pays for 7-Foot-3 Future Cop to Try the Test Again Because Apparently Height Isn’t the Only Thing That Doesn’t Measure Up

Big ElephantDecember 30, 2025December 30, 2025

Another Leftist Plot to Infiltrate Law Enforcement: Shaq Funds 7-Foot-3 Giant’s Police Exam Retake After Failing by ONE Point –…

National Guard to Patrol New Orleans for New Year’s Because Apparently One Terrorist Wasn’t Enough
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

National Guard to Patrol New Orleans for New Year’s Because Apparently One Terrorist Wasn’t Enough

Big ElephantDecember 30, 2025December 30, 2025

Trump Sends National Guard to New Orleans for New Year’s Eve: When in Doubt, Blame Liberals and Deploy Troops In…

Sheriff Salazar says new video of missing Texas teen is ‘huge’—apparently, the kid finally learned how to work a TikTok filter
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Sheriff Salazar says new video of missing Texas teen is ‘huge’—apparently, the kid finally learned how to work a TikTok filter

Big ElephantDecember 30, 2025December 30, 2025

Oh, it’s ‘huge’ all right, Javier! While the Left’s busy chasing shadows and gaslighting America, Bexar County’s sheriff finally admits…

Bloated Nation Struggling To Work Way Through Leftover Rijstevlaai
The Onion

Bloated Nation Struggling To Work Way Through Leftover Rijstevlaai

FinnDecember 30, 2025

       WASHINGTON—Wondering aloud about whose idea it was to make so much gebakje in the first place, bloated Americans across…

Babylon Bee

Planet Fitness Offering Convenient New Two-Week Membership For New Year’s

FinnDecember 30, 2025

    HAMPTON, NH — As millions resolve to briefly get back in shape, Planet Fitness announced a convenient new two-week…

Fenway All Access – Boston New Year’s Eve 2026: Where the Green Monster Meets the Champagne Fountain
Events

Fenway All Access – Boston New Year’s Eve 2026: Where the Green Monster Meets the Champagne Fountain

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 30, 2025

🚨 BREAKING: Boston’s Elite 1% Discovered Secret Nightlife Hack – One Wristband, 10 Bars, Zero Adulting Skills Required! 🎰🍸 1…

Prospect Park Says “Bon Voyage 2025” With Explosive Confetti and Apathetic Pigeons
Events

Prospect Park Says “Bon Voyage 2025” With Explosive Confetti and Apathetic Pigeons

Chuck B. BallsyDecember 30, 2025

🚨 BROOKLYN’S MOST SPECTACULAR NEW YEAR’S EVE FIREWORKS 🎆💥 Brooklyn Borough President Antonio Reynoso, Prospect Park Alliance, Brooklyn Org, and…

Who Is Nick Shirley, the 23-Year-Old MAGA Kid Who Accidentally Became a Viral Conspiracy Theorist?
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Who Is Nick Shirley, the 23-Year-Old MAGA Kid Who Accidentally Became a Viral Conspiracy Theorist?

Big ElephantDecember 30, 2025December 30, 2025

Leftist Daycare Scandal Explodes as MAGA Hero Exposes Massive Government Fraud Scheme In a stunning revelation that has sent shockwaves…

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Finn October 8, 2024
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Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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