TACOMA, WA—Urging her kids to cut their dad some slack amid the added stressors of his work life, area woman Ashlyn Bergman reportedly informed her children Tuesday that their father, who typically spends half his workday playing Clash Of Clans on his phone, was “under a lot of pressure at work.” “He doesn’t love you any less—he just has a lot on his plate at the office lately and needs some space,” Bergman said of her husband, Jake, who had spent a majority of the day at his desk on the popular fantasy-themed mobile game raising an army of small cartoon peasants and springing for the occasional in-app purchase of additional gems to trade for new elixirs and hero skins. “He might snap at you sometimes, but he doesn’t mean it. He’s just has a very stressful job and works really hard to provide for us all.” According to sources, Bergman’s husband later called home to explain that he had been forced to stay at work late due to an unexpectedly heavy goblin attack.
The post ‘Dad’s Under A Lot Of Pressure At Work,’ Says Woman Of Husband Who Spends Half Day Playing ‘Clash Of Clans’ appeared first on The Onion.
TACOMA, WA—Urging her kids to cut their dad some slack amid the added stressors of his work life, area woman Ashlyn Bergman reportedly informed her children Tuesday that their father, who typically spends half his workday playing Clash Of Clans on his phone, was “under a lot of pressure at work.” “He doesn’t love you
The post ‘Dad’s Under A Lot Of Pressure At Work,’ Says Woman Of Husband Who Spends Half Day Playing ‘Clash Of Clans’ appeared first on The Onion. Read More
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
