BOSTON—Prompting exclamations of astonishment from colleagues and supervisors, local man Joshua Lingard reportedly appeared entirely unrecognizable Wednesday after enjoying a full eight hours of sleep. “Oh my gosh, I didn’t even realize it was Josh without those dark bags under his eyes and his usual lifeless monotone,” said Lingard’s coworker Alison Conners, who gasped in surprise as she witnessed the utterly transformed 43-year-old enter their office after an unbroken night of rest, smile with genuine enthusiasm, and greet her with an uncharacteristic sense of mental clarity. “It’s not just that his skin isn’t all puffy and pale, either. There’s something about his personality—I think it’s that he isn’t constantly staring into the distance in a mixture of confusion and pain. Plus, he’s actually getting work done. At first I thought Josh had a more handsome brother whose brain functioned normally, but it’s actually him. Incredible.” Coworkers later expressed relief when Lingard drank caffeine after 2 p.m., ensuring he would return to his typical dysfunctional self the next day.
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BOSTON—Prompting exclamations of astonishment from colleagues and supervisors, local man Joshua Lingard reportedly appeared entirely unrecognizable Wednesday after enjoying a full eight hours of sleep. “Oh my gosh, I didn’t even realize it was Josh without those dark bags under his eyes and his usual lifeless monotone,” said Lingard’s coworker Alison Conners, who gasped in
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Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
