Noah Wyle Fed Up With Pushy Fan Tracheotomy Requests

SANTA BARBARA, CA—Groaning as yet another stranger shoved a ballpoint pen in his face, actor Noah Wyle stated Thursday that he was fed up with pushy fan tracheotomy requests. “Listen, I love that you love my work, but I’m just trying to grab breakfast with my family right now, not cut through any windpipes, okay?” said Wyle, the 54-year-old star of HBO Max’s The Pitt, who waved off the group of screaming fans frantically attempting to get his attention. “The first time it happened, 30 years ago, I was very flattered that someone wanted me to save their life. But it gets old pretty fast when you have people begging you to perform tracheotomies everywhere you go. Everyone wants to brag to their friends that they got a tracheotomy from Noah Wyle, but I just want my personal space.” Wyle went on to add that even if he did give a fan a tracheotomy, there was a 90% chance they would just sell it online.

The post Noah Wyle Fed Up With Pushy Fan Tracheotomy Requests appeared first on The Onion.

   SANTA BARBARA, CA—Groaning as yet another stranger shoved a ballpoint pen in his face, actor Noah Wyle stated Thursday that he was fed up with pushy fan tracheotomy requests. “Listen, I love that you love my work, but I’m just trying to grab breakfast with my family right now, not cut through any windpipes, okay?”
The post Noah Wyle Fed Up With Pushy Fan Tracheotomy Requests appeared first on The Onion. Read More

Finn

Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.

Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.

Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.