HYDE PARK, NY—Stifling their groans as an instructor distributed the wailing infants, students at the Culinary Institute of America were reportedly given a live baby Friday to learn how to care for a bag of flour. “Flour is the most delicate of the pantry staples, and looking after this child for the week will prepare you to deal with the complexities of milled grain,” said Inès Allard, who teaches introduction to baking and pastry at the school, explaining that the students would have to keep the baby from leaking just as they would need to do with an actual sack of processed wheat. “I know it’s not a real bag of flour, but it’s important to take this seriously. And trust me, this is easy mode—babies can be left out in the open, but if you do that with flour, you get ants. If you can’t handle a live infant, then you sure as hell aren’t ready for 10 pounds of ultra-fine pizza flour crafted from the highest-quality varieties of soft wheat.” At press time, reports indicated that many students had already decided it would be too much work to have a flour bag of their own.
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HYDE PARK, NY—Stifling their groans as an instructor distributed the wailing infants, students at the Culinary Institute of America were reportedly given a live baby Friday to learn how to care for a bag of flour. “Flour is the most delicate of the pantry staples, and looking after this child for the week will prepare
The post Culinary Students Given Live Baby To Learn How To Care For Bag Of Flour appeared first on The Onion. Read More
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.