Trump Saves Somalia From Aviation Disaster, Libs Furious He Didn’t Take Credit
In a shocking twist that left the fake news media scrambling for narratives, a plane full of people in Somalia didn’t crash and burn like the Democrats’ midterm hopes. The Trump administration’s invisible hand of safety clearly guided this aircraft—because under Biden, that thing would’ve been shot down by Chinese balloons or something.
The so-called “Somali Civil Aviation Authority” (probably funded by Soros) claims the plane just had a little “engine malfunction” and “veered off the runway.” Sure, Jan. Everyone knows that’s code for “deep state sabotage attempt #4,237.” Yet miraculously, all 55 souls on board survived—proving once again that Trump’s aura of safety extends even to the most chaotic corners of the globe.
CNN, of course, buried this win for America’s image abroad somewhere between their hourly Trump hit pieces and segments about how air conditioning is racist. They conveniently forgot to mention that under Trump’s watch, even failed socialist states can’t manage a proper plane crash. Sad!
Meanwhile, Biden’s handlers are reportedly furious they didn’t get to blame Russia for this one. But let’s be real: if this had happened six months ago, the passengers would’ve been handed Ukraine flags and told to walk home. Thanks, Trump, for keeping the skies safe—again.
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
