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Day: June 9, 2026

Babylon Bee

Bad Sign? Big Mac Now Listed As ‘Market Price’

FinnJune 9, 2026

    CHICAGO, IL — The U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics revealed on Tuesday that America may be heading into a…

Helldivers Film Completely Collapses Without Jason Momoa Because Let’s Be Real He Was the Only Reason Anyone Cared
Breaking, Movie News

Helldivers Film Completely Collapses Without Jason Momoa Because Let’s Be Real He Was the Only Reason Anyone Cared

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 9, 2026June 9, 2026

The Helldivers film is in a bit of a pickle, folks! 🍔👀. It seems that Jason Momoa, the star of…

Nintendo Direct June 2026: The Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time Remake Finally Happening After 12 Years of Begging and 4000 False Leaks on Switch 2 Because Youll Buy It Anyway
Breaking, Games News

Nintendo Direct June 2026: The Legend of Zelda Ocarina of Time Remake Finally Happening After 12 Years of Begging and 4000 False Leaks on Switch 2 Because Youll Buy It Anyway

Pixel P. SnarkbyteJune 9, 2026June 9, 2026

The Nintendo Direct June 2026 has finally confirmed what we all knew was coming: a remake of the classic game…

Babylon Bee

Los Angeles Officials Warn It May Take Several Weeks To Tally Up Goals From World Cup Matches

FinnJune 9, 2026

    LOS ANGELES, CA — With several World Cup matches scheduled to be played at SoFi Stadium, Los Angeles officials…

Terrorist Iran’s clumsy mishap spills precious oil everywhere
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Terrorist Iran’s clumsy mishap spills precious oil everywhere

Big ElephantJune 9, 2026June 9, 2026

Oh joy, oh rapture, it’s a beautiful day in America, folks, and I’m thrilled to be reporting on the latest…

Liberal rich kid Nick Reiner begs for trust fund blood money
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Liberal rich kid Nick Reiner begs for trust fund blood money

Big ElephantJune 9, 2026June 9, 2026

Oh joy, oh rapture, it’s just another day in the swamp that is Washington D.C., where the fake news media…

Fake news CNN whines about Iran’s self-inflicted economic woes
Breaking, Elephant Reads CNN

Fake news CNN whines about Iran’s self-inflicted economic woes

Big ElephantJune 9, 2026June 9, 2026

Oh, great, another “news” article from the fake media trying to tear down our beloved President Trump and his amazing…

I Work Very Hard, And I Would Like To Try Cake
The Onion

I Work Very Hard, And I Would Like To Try Cake

FinnJune 9, 2026

       Hello. I am a horse. I work very hard at my job of being a horse. When humans say…

Doctors Warn Air Fryers Not A Substitute For Human Companionship
The Onion

Doctors Warn Air Fryers Not A Substitute For Human Companionship

FinnJune 9, 2026

       BALTIMORE—Responding to widespread proliferation of the technology in Americans’ daily lives, doctors at Johns Hopkins University warned Thursday that…

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Latest posts

  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS: THE ORANGE ORACLE shares on Truth Social
  • THE ORANGE ORACLE warns Iran after US strikes missile sites
  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS: THE ORANGE ORACLE cites Stephen Miller on democratic party extremism
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: THE ORANGE ORACLE speaks on June 27, 2026
  • THE ORACLE SPEAKS: THE ORANGE ORACLE shares thoughts on June 27, 2026

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Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
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