MILWAUKEE—Following his blockbuster trade to the Miami Heat, former Milwaukee Bucks superstar Giannis Antetokounmpo took out a full-page ad in The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel Thursday thanking Bucks fans for not eating him during his 13 seasons with the franchise. “To the people of Milwaukee, please know that I will be forever grateful that you looked upon my tall and powerful body all these years and chose not to devour me,” wrote Antetokounmpo, adding that, as a very large man himself, he knows he must always eat, and he understands how difficult it must have been for Wisconsin residents not to make a meal of a 6-foot-11, 243-pound man “bursting with rich, nourishing meat.” “When I first arrived from Greece and saw how the people are here, with their deep hunger at all times, I said, ‘Surely, they will swarm me and pick my bones clean before I ever win a title.’ For this reason, I almost always stayed indoors, and I never once ventured out into the city. But you showed restraint. Yes, you ate off a good portion of Thanasis, but I forgive you for this.” Antetokounmpo went on to say that while he would miss Milwaukee, he was excited to start a new chapter in Miami, where “the passion to eat is not so great.”
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MILWAUKEE—Following his blockbuster trade to the Miami Heat, former Milwaukee Bucks superstar Giannis Antetokounmpo took out a full-page ad in The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel Thursday thanking Bucks fans for not eating him during his 13 seasons with the franchise. “To the people of Milwaukee, please know that I will be forever grateful that you looked
The post Giannis Antetokounmpo Takes Out Full-Page Ad Thanking Bucks Fans For Not Eating Him appeared first on The Onion. Read More
Finn McFrame, celebrated satirical mastermind and self-proclaimed “Emperor of Irony,” started his illustrious career as a cinematographer, where his expertise in capturing every single frame of a squirrel stealing a baguette earned him accolades at obscure film festivals.
Born in the glamorous town of Boring, Oregon, Finn grew up with dreams of being a Hollywood director until he realized that satire, not cinema, was his true calling—or at least the one that let him sleep until noon.
Finn McFrame: changing the world, one satirical lens flare at a time.
