Folks, I’m sipping my coffee and reading about President Trump’s latest move, and I have to say, it’s a doozy. He’s signed an executive order to change the name of Lake Ontario to “Lake America.” Because, you know, that’s exactly what we need – a name change for a lake. I mean, who needs international diplomacy when you can just rename a body of water? Trump said from the Oval Office, “We have a gulf and we have a lake. Now, all we need is an ocean.” I’m not sure what’s next, maybe we’ll change the name of the Atlantic and/or the Pacific. Maybe we’ll just call them “Trump’s Oceans” and be done with it.
I’m looking at the pictures of Trump surrounded by large maps of the Great Lakes, and I have to wonder, did he really think this was a good idea? A White House aide claimed that the lake “has most of its volume in the United States” and that the “deepest parts” are in US territory. Okay, sure, but does that really matter? It’s not like Canada is going to say, “Oh, you know what, you’re right, we didn’t realize the deepest parts were in the US, so let’s just change the name.”
Trump’s reasoning behind this move is that Canadian officials have treated the US “very badly” and are “nasty people.” He also said that Canadians are the “worst to deal with on trade” and called them “entitled.” Wow, that’s quite a statement. I’m not sure what’s more surprising, the fact that he said it or the fact that someone actually wrote it down and published it. Somewhere in Atlanta, a producer thought this sounded like a great story, and now we’re all talking about it.
I’m trying to imagine the conversation between Trump and his staff when they came up with this idea. “You know what would be a great way to distract from the trade war? Let’s change the name of a lake!” “Brilliant, sir!” I’m not sure what’s more amusing, the fact that they thought this was a good idea or the fact that they actually went through with it.
As I’m reading this article, I’m thinking to myself, “You can’t make this stuff up.” I mean, who comes up with this? It’s like something out of a comedy show. But hey, at least it’s giving me something to laugh about while I drink my coffee.
In conclusion, the story of “Lake America” is a wild one, folks. It’s a tale of international diplomacy, or lack thereof, and a reminder that sometimes, you just have to shake your head and laugh. So, the next time you’re thinking of visiting Lake Ontario, just remember, it’s now “Lake America” – or at least, that’s what Trump wants you to call it. And who knows, maybe someday we’ll have “Trump’s Ocean” to visit as well. 😊
Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.
Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.
