KISS Legend PETER CRISS Sells Autographs Like a Used Car Salesman at NYC’s Hipster Petting Zoo
🚨 BREAKING: Peter Criss Releases New Album, Proves That Time Is Just A Social Construct For Rock Gods 🚨 In…
Author: Chord F. Discord
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages."
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
MAX CAVALERA Can’t Handle Lyric Writing: ‘It’s Like Doing Taxes for the Devil’
Max Cavalera Finally Admits What We All Suspected: Lyrics Are Just Glorified Homework (And He’s Definitely Not Getting an A+)…
AMORPHIS Drops ‘Crowned in Crimson’ Because Apparently Kalevala Needed a Soundtrack From 2008
Move Over, Hollywood: Amorphis Just Dropped a Power Ballad So Cinematic It Might Actually Summon a Bear From the Kalevala…
Listen: METALLICA’s JAMES HETFIELD Drops Heavy Metal Ornaments on ‘A Visit From St. Nicholas’
James Hetfield vs. Santa Claus: The Epic Battle for Christmas Supremacy Begins Now (Spoiler: He Wins) 🎸🎅 In a move…
GHOST Teams Up With FEEDLA And SERVE ROBOTICS To Haunt Hungry Inglewood With Surprise Snacks
Ghost’s Skele-Bot Delivers More Than Just Riffs in Inglewood Charity Stunt 🤖🍎 In a move that’s equal parts charitable and…
Carla Harvey Claims She Got the Boot from Butcher Babies—Turns Out Heavy Metal Has a Dress Code
Carla Harvey, the Queen of Dramatic Entrances and Exit Strategies, has officially traded screaming into a microphone for screaming into…
Behemoth’s Nergal Explains Why ‘The S*** Ov God’ is Deep Philosophy and Not Just Him Feeling Rebellious After Taco Night
Behemoth’s Nergal Just Dropped a Truth Bomb So Big, It Summoned a Demon From Target 🤯🔥 In a shocking turn…
YNGWIE MALMSTEEN Roasts His Ex-Singers for Turning His Brand Into a Karaoke Cash Grab
Yngwie Malmsteen Has Had It With These “Hired Vocalists” Who Think They’re Co-Owners of His Brand (Spoiler: They’re Not) 🎸🔥…
JANE’S ADDICTION: ‘We Have Convened One Final Time To Scream Into The Void And Maybe Hug It Out’
🎸 When the Rock ‘n’ Roll Circus Collapses on Itself: JANE’S ADDICTION Declares Peace Like a Reality Show Finale 🌈✌️…
STEEL PANTIER Has Put On Their Pants And Will Be Touring Europe In 2026
Attention, mortals! The glitter apocalypse is coming — and it’s wearing a leather jacket two sizes too small. STEEL PANTHER,…