Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Live
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Author: Chord F. Discord

Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages." Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories. Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
Watch: Robert Plant and Some Band Nobody Cares About Embarrass Themselves on ‘Later… With Jools Holland’
Breaking, Music News

Watch: Robert Plant and Some Band Nobody Cares About Embarrass Themselves on ‘Later… With Jools Holland’

Chord F. DiscordOctober 7, 2025October 7, 2025

Oh, look, it’s Robert Plant and his new vanity project, SAVING GRACE, gracing BBC Two’s “Later… With Jools Holland”. Yes,…

The Offspring and BAD RELIGION: Geriatric Throwdown 2026
Live, Music News

The Offspring and BAD RELIGION: Geriatric Throwdown 2026

Chord F. DiscordOctober 6, 2025October 6, 2025

OMG! THE OFFSPRING, those geriatric punk rockers from the ’90s (👴🏻🎸), are apparently still alive and kicking! 🤣 They’re dragging…

Ace Frehley Aborts Mission 2025: Blames It On The Space Flu Again
Breaking, Music News

Ace Frehley Aborts Mission 2025: Blames It On The Space Flu Again

Chord F. DiscordOctober 6, 2025October 6, 2025

OMG! Ace Frehley, the Spaceman who clearly hasn’t found his way back to Earth 👽, has pulled the plug 🔌…

SEPULTURA Fires Current Drummer, Hires Back Guy They Fired, Extends Farewell Tour to the Year 3000
Breaking, Music News

SEPULTURA Fires Current Drummer, Hires Back Guy They Fired, Extends Farewell Tour to the Year 3000

Chord F. DiscordOctober 5, 2025October 5, 2025

Brazilian/American metallers SEPULTURA, those geriatric rockers who refuse to die, have confirmed that drum prodigy (or victim?) Greyson Nekrutman will…

Gary Holt Says New EXODUS Album Is ‘Done’ So Prepare for 12 New National Anthems
Breaking, Music News

Gary Holt Says New EXODUS Album Is ‘Done’ So Prepare for 12 New National Anthems

Chord F. DiscordOctober 5, 2025October 5, 2025

So, guess what, losers? EXODUS guitarist Gary Holt, the guy who definitely doesn’t regret not being in the “Big Four,”…

Dee Snider and Lita Ford Ravage Missouri With Geriatric Rock Show, Locals Pray for Quieter Afterlife
Breaking, Music News

Dee Snider and Lita Ford Ravage Missouri With Geriatric Rock Show, Locals Pray for Quieter Afterlife

Chord F. DiscordOctober 5, 2025October 5, 2025

DEE SNIDER, the mouth that roared (or maybe just squeaked), graced Lita Ford’s stage on Friday, October 3, at The…

Alex Lifeson’s Serbian Roots: From Toronto to Tamburica Triumphs
Breaking, Music News

Alex Lifeson’s Serbian Roots: From Toronto to Tamburica Triumphs

Chord F. DiscordOctober 5, 2025October 5, 2025

In a groundbreaking interview with the ultra-hip Hear 2 Zen podcast (because who *hasn’t* heard of it?), RUSH guitarist Alex…

Pet Shop Boys to grace Lytham Festival 2026, ensuring ticket touts a hefty profit
Live, Music News

Pet Shop Boys to grace Lytham Festival 2026, ensuring ticket touts a hefty profit

Chord F. DiscordOctober 1, 2025October 1, 2025

Prepare yourselves, peasants! Pet Shop Boys, those relics of the 80s, have deigned to grace the stage at Lytham Festival…

NINE INCH NAILS Announce February/March 2026 North American Tour (Get Ready to Be Disappointed Again)
Live, Music News

NINE INCH NAILS Announce February/March 2026 North American Tour (Get Ready to Be Disappointed Again)

Chord F. DiscordOctober 1, 2025October 1, 2025

😱 BREAKING: Your Grandpa’s Favorite Band, NINE INCH NAILS, Is Back to “Peel It Back” One More Time! 👴🎸 Get…

Steven Wilson Drools Nonsense: Humans Think They’re, Like, A Big Deal Or Something
Breaking, Music News

Steven Wilson Drools Nonsense: Humans Think They’re, Like, A Big Deal Or Something

Chord F. DiscordSeptember 30, 2025September 30, 2025

Six-time 🤪Grammy Award🤪-nominated (but never won, lol) musician, songwriter, and producer Steven Wilson, the guy who peaked in the early…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 70 71 72 … 136 Next

Latest posts

  • Trump and Mamdani Unite Over Netanyahu Drama
  • Another soulless sequel gets its obligatory fanboy freakout moment
  • Lettuce Ruin Taco Bell’s Day With Parasite Outbreak
  • Tampa Airport Security Now In Hands Of Lowest Bidder
  • Christopher Nolan has a “good idea” for a horror film of horror because he has a “searching” for a different story and screen play. and financial movie or playing a video game for screen play or financial movie “ Searching”

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
July 2026
S M T W T F S
 1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122232425
262728293031  
« Jun    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}