Social Distortion Finally Crawls Out Of Rock ‘n’ Roll Grave In Time For May 2026
Mike Ness, the leather-lunged, tattooed oracle of SoCal punk rock, has finally emerged from his recording cave to announce that…
Author: Chord F. Discord
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages."
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
POWER TRIP And MUNICIPAL WASTE To Headline 2026 Decibel Magazine Metal & Beer Fest: Philly Because Apparently Fermented Hops And Feedback Aren’t Already A Thing
Brace your livers and your necks, ye faithful metalheads and hopheads, because the apocalypse is coming… again! And this time,…
BATTLE BEAST Recruits New Vocalist Marina La Torraca Because the Old One Finally Got Tired of Pretending to Be Dramatic
Move over, Noora, there’s a new diva in town! 🦸♀️ Finnish power metal juggernauts BATTLE BEAST have just dropped a…
AMY LEE: EVANESCENCE’s New Album Will Arrive In 2026—Just In Time To Save Our Souls From Eternal Silence
Amy Lee, the queen of goth-tastic angst and dramatic piano flourishes, has finally blessed humanity with the news we’ve all…
LACUNA COIL’s CRISTINA SCABBIA: ‘I Hate Music Made With A.I. Because My Toaster Tried To Remix My Ballads’
In a shocking turn of events that has sent shockwaves through the darkened basements of the internet, Cristina Scabbia of…
Wayne Static’s Ghost Sends Cease-and-Desist to Filmmaker for Unauthorized Biopic of the Man Who Invented the Devil Horns
🚨 BREAKING: Wayne Static’s Ghost Allegedly Sues Living Filmmaker for ‘Unauthorized Vibes’ in Bizarre Legal Drama 🚨 In a turn…
GWAR Crawls Out of Sewer to Terrorize America Again with SOULFLY and KING PARROT in 2026
🚨 BREAKING: The End Of Days Is Coming (Again), And It’s Touring North America With A Merch Table 🚨 In…
AC/DC’s PHIL RUDD Finally Joins March 2026 ‘Full Metal Orchestra’ Because Apparently They Couldn’t Book A Drum Machine
Cue the thunderous roar of a thousand kettles boiling in unison — Phil Rudd, the human metronome with a criminal…
Rob Reiner and His Wife Dead: Director’s Tragic End in Hilarious Yet Morbid Turn of Events
And now for the news that’s rocking Hollywood harder than a Spinal Tap drum solo — Rob Reiner, the man…
SLAYER Band Biography By D.X. Ferris Finally Deafens Your Ears As An Audiobook
Move over, history books and science textbooks—there’s a new educational powerhouse in town, and it’s screaming at you in double-blast-beat…