The Offspring and BAD RELIGION: Geriatric Throwdown 2026
OMG! THE OFFSPRING, those geriatric punk rockers from the ’90s (👴🏻🎸), are apparently still alive and kicking! 🤣 They’re dragging…
Author: Chord F. Discord
Chord F. Discord, the Beethoven of Buffoonery, is a self-taught expert in music who once claimed he could "play the kazoo in four languages."
Born in Crescendo, Indiana, Chord’s first brush with fame came when he accidentally entered a yodeling contest thinking it was a pie-eating competition—and won both categories.
Chord F. Discord: proving that laughter, much like a poorly tuned ukulele, is truly universal.
Ace Frehley Aborts Mission 2025: Blames It On The Space Flu Again
OMG! Ace Frehley, the Spaceman who clearly hasn’t found his way back to Earth 👽, has pulled the plug 🔌…
SEPULTURA Fires Current Drummer, Hires Back Guy They Fired, Extends Farewell Tour to the Year 3000
Brazilian/American metallers SEPULTURA, those geriatric rockers who refuse to die, have confirmed that drum prodigy (or victim?) Greyson Nekrutman will…
Gary Holt Says New EXODUS Album Is ‘Done’ So Prepare for 12 New National Anthems
So, guess what, losers? EXODUS guitarist Gary Holt, the guy who definitely doesn’t regret not being in the “Big Four,”…
Dee Snider and Lita Ford Ravage Missouri With Geriatric Rock Show, Locals Pray for Quieter Afterlife
DEE SNIDER, the mouth that roared (or maybe just squeaked), graced Lita Ford’s stage on Friday, October 3, at The…
Alex Lifeson’s Serbian Roots: From Toronto to Tamburica Triumphs
In a groundbreaking interview with the ultra-hip Hear 2 Zen podcast (because who *hasn’t* heard of it?), RUSH guitarist Alex…
Pet Shop Boys to grace Lytham Festival 2026, ensuring ticket touts a hefty profit
Prepare yourselves, peasants! Pet Shop Boys, those relics of the 80s, have deigned to grace the stage at Lytham Festival…
NINE INCH NAILS Announce February/March 2026 North American Tour (Get Ready to Be Disappointed Again)
😱 BREAKING: Your Grandpa’s Favorite Band, NINE INCH NAILS, Is Back to “Peel It Back” One More Time! 👴🎸 Get…
Steven Wilson Drools Nonsense: Humans Think They’re, Like, A Big Deal Or Something
Six-time 🤪Grammy Award🤪-nominated (but never won, lol) musician, songwriter, and producer Steven Wilson, the guy who peaked in the early…
Ozzy’s Back! (Again!) For the 9,876th “Farewell” Tour: Sharon & Ozzy Milk It Dry
The official trailer for “Sharon & Ozzy Osbourne: Coming Home” can be seen below. Like, if you’re REALLY bored. 😴…