Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • The Orange Oracle
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
    • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Games News
  • Jackal Research Division
  • Editorial
    • Live
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Author: Pixel P. Snarkbyte

Pixel P. Snarkbyte, widely regarded as the “Shakespeare of Sh*tposts,” is a video game expert with a unique knack for turning pixels into punchlines. Born in the small town of Respawn, Pennsylvania, Pixel grew up mashing buttons on an ancient NES controller, firmly believing that “blowing into the cartridge” was a sacred ritual passed down through generations. Pixel P. Snarkbyte: proving that life, much like a buggy open-world game, is better with a little lag-induced chaos.
Bungie Is Finally Abandoning the Sinking Ship That Is Destiny 2 to Work on a Game That’s Only 25 Years Out of Date Marathon
The End of an Era: Bungie is Done with Destiny 2, and Honestly, It's About Time 🕰️
Breaking, Games News

Bungie Is Finally Abandoning the Sinking Ship That Is Destiny 2 to Work on a Game That’s Only 25 Years Out of Date Marathon

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 22, 2026May 22, 2026

In a shocking turn of events, Bungie has announced that they’re finally ending active development of Destiny 2, a game…

Because the World Was Just Missing a Bunch of Superhero Brats Running Around in The Boys Prequel Series Vought Rising
Breaking, Movie News

Because the World Was Just Missing a Bunch of Superhero Brats Running Around in The Boys Prequel Series Vought Rising

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 22, 2026May 22, 2026

The Boys fans are about to get their minds blown by the latest news, and by blown, I mean mildly…

Warhorse Studios Finally Decides to Stop Milking Kingdom Come and Now Wants to Ruin Lord of the Rings Too with Their Mediocre Game Design Skills and Overhyped Marketing
Breaking, Games News

Warhorse Studios Finally Decides to Stop Milking Kingdom Come and Now Wants to Ruin Lord of the Rings Too with Their Mediocre Game Design Skills and Overhyped Marketing

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 20, 2026May 20, 2026

Get ready for some epic news, folks! 🎉 Warhorse Studios has finally spilled the beans on what they’ve been cooking…

Get Ready for the Most Underwhelming Experience of Your Life: Indie Games You’ll Probably Forget Exist in a Week — March & April, 2026
Breaking, Games News

Get Ready for the Most Underwhelming Experience of Your Life: Indie Games You’ll Probably Forget Exist in a Week — March & April, 2026

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 20, 2026May 20, 2026

Get ready for some amazing indie games this spring, folks! 🌷🎮 March and April are bringing a strong mix of…

Oh Joy Amanda The Adventurer 3 Is Finally Gracing Consoles With Its Mediocre Presence This Month
Breaking, Games News

Oh Joy Amanda The Adventurer 3 Is Finally Gracing Consoles With Its Mediocre Presence This Month

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 20, 2026May 20, 2026

Amanda the Adventurer 3 is finally coming to consoles, because who needs human interaction, right? 🤖💻 It’s joining its indie…

Sony Desperately Tries to Cling to Old School Gaming While Hackers Laugh Maniacally and Plot to Ruin Everything
Breaking News: Sony Decides to Go Back to the Stone Age with Single-Player Games 🚀👀
Breaking, Games News

Sony Desperately Tries to Cling to Old School Gaming While Hackers Laugh Maniacally and Plot to Ruin Everything

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 19, 2026May 19, 2026

It looks like Sony has finally realized that the whole “multi-platform” thing was just a fad, and they’re going back…

MARVEL Cosmic Invasion Because Who Needs the Avengers When You Have Cyclops and the Thing to Save the Day in This Totally Not Desperate DLC Move
Breaking, Games News

MARVEL Cosmic Invasion Because Who Needs the Avengers When You Have Cyclops and the Thing to Save the Day in This Totally Not Desperate DLC Move

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 18, 2026May 18, 2026

The most epic news in the history of epic news has just dropped, and I’m not even exaggerating 😱! MARVEL…

Get Ready for EVE Online’s Next Soul Crushing Expansion, Because You Clearly Haven’t Had Enough of Losing Your Spaceships Yet
Breaking, Games News

Get Ready for EVE Online’s Next Soul Crushing Expansion, Because You Clearly Haven’t Had Enough of Losing Your Spaceships Yet

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 17, 2026May 17, 2026

Get ready for the most epic battle in the history of New Eden, folks! 🚀👽 The next big expansion for…

EVE Online’s The Capsuleer Edda Because Who Needs Actual Immortality When You Can Just Spend All Your Money on a Video Game Forever
Breaking, Games News

EVE Online’s The Capsuleer Edda Because Who Needs Actual Immortality When You Can Just Spend All Your Money on a Video Game Forever

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 15, 2026May 15, 2026

EVE FanFest 2026 is making waves in the gaming world, and we’re not just talking about the usual cosplay and…

Subnautica 2 Sells 2 Million Copies in 12 Hours Because Who Needs Human Interaction Anyway
Breaking, Games News

Subnautica 2 Sells 2 Million Copies in 12 Hours Because Who Needs Human Interaction Anyway

Pixel P. SnarkbyteMay 15, 2026May 15, 2026

Wow, what a wild ride for Subnautica 2! 🎢 After a lengthy lawsuit with publisher Krafton, Unknown Worlds has finally…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 9 10 11 … 103 Next

Latest posts

  • Carly Rae Jepsen Drops New Track On Wires Now
  • Dem socialists not so scary after all Big Elephant surprised
  • Charli XCX Drops Sassy New Track Wink Wink Now Streaming
  • Venezuela Gets Rocked By Not One But TWO Earthquakes
  • ORANGE ORACLE UPDATE: Donald Trump makes mysterious post on June 26 2026

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
June 2026
S M T W T F S
 123456
78910111213
14151617181920
21222324252627
282930  
« May    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}