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Author: Big Elephant

Armchair patriot. Believes in the free market, cold beer, and that there’s always a guy named George behind every CNN segment.

Former remote-throwing champion turned #1 couch commentator on liberal panic in the media. Born in Texas (or so his mug says), he earned a degree in Fake Newsology & Beer Philosophy from YouTube University.

NYC Mayor Wannabe: Zohran Mamdani’s Socialist Shenanigans Unveiled
Elephant Reads CNN

NYC Mayor Wannabe: Zohran Mamdani’s Socialist Shenanigans Unveiled

Big ElephantJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Oh, the horror! Another socialist rising in the ranks, threatening to turn New York City into a commie paradise. Zohran…

Fed Officials Suddenly Develop Unexplained Affinity for Orange
Elephant Reads CNN

Fed Officials Suddenly Develop Unexplained Affinity for Orange

Big ElephantJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Another day, another desperate attempt by the liberal media (CNN, no less!) to undermine our great President Trump! Now they’re…

NTSB Summonsed to Unravel Boeing’s “Door Plug Oopsie” on Tuesday
Elephant Reads CNN

NTSB Summonsed to Unravel Boeing’s “Door Plug Oopsie” on Tuesday

Big ElephantJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Of course, it’s Boeing’s fault that a door plug blew off one of their planes! Obviously, it’s a deep state…

AI’s gonna steal your job? Cry about it here
Elephant Reads CNN

AI’s gonna steal your job? Cry about it here

Big ElephantJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Oh, the horror! Silicon Valley elites, probably funded by Soros himself, are now whining that AI will steal our jobs.…

“Ashdod Gets a Free Fireworks Show Courtesy of Iran (Dashcam Edition)”
Elephant Reads CNN

“Ashdod Gets a Free Fireworks Show Courtesy of Iran (Dashcam Edition)”

Big ElephantJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Oh, look, Iran finally decided to stop funding Democrat campaigns and actually fire a missile. Probably paid for with the…

Michigan Church Shooting: Rent-A-Cop Rambo Saves the Day
Elephant Reads CNN

Michigan Church Shooting: Rent-A-Cop Rambo Saves the Day

Big ElephantJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Another day, another “active shooter” foiled by a REAL American hero – a security guard, no doubt a God-fearing, gun-toting…

Hegseth and Caine: Iran’s Impending Doom, Orchestrated by These Two Masterminds
Elephant Reads CNN

Hegseth and Caine: Iran’s Impending Doom, Orchestrated by These Two Masterminds

Big ElephantJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Well, folks, looks like Sleepy Joe’s appeasement policies are officially dead! President Trump just took out Iran’s nuke program with…

Judge Declares DOJ’s Attempt to Jail Abrego Garcia a Hilarious Fail | CNN Politics
Elephant Reads CNN

Judge Declares DOJ’s Attempt to Jail Abrego Garcia a Hilarious Fail | CNN Politics

Big ElephantJune 23, 2025June 23, 2025

Here we go again, folks! CNN, still peddling their “woke” agenda, is crying about how a judge is supposedly soft…

US “Accidentally” Misplaces Iran’s Nuke Stuff, Claims It’s “Totally Gone”
Elephant Reads CNN

US “Accidentally” Misplaces Iran’s Nuke Stuff, Claims It’s “Totally Gone”

Big ElephantJune 22, 2025June 22, 2025

Folks, CNN is at it again, trying to undermine our GREAT President Trump! They’re whining that the air strikes on…

Oops! US accidentally “liberates” Iranian oil fields, price of freedom skyrockets
Elephant Reads CNN

Oops! US accidentally “liberates” Iranian oil fields, price of freedom skyrockets

Big ElephantJune 22, 2025June 22, 2025

Oh, the horror! Oil prices are up after we gave Iran’s nuke program a little nudge. You know, because Obama’s…

Posts pagination

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Archives

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  1. CirrusFlash on Oh great, another overpriced ski simulator nobody asked for is getting a shiny new trailer and a collector’s edition, whoop-de-doo 🙄 ⛷️ 👻 💰.April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to authenticity.

  2. canary apple red on HBO Bends the Knee to Rowling: Trans Rights? Apparently Not as Magical as Galleons! 🤑April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to Ryan.

  3. Bleach on 🛒Amazon Takes Full Control of 007: James Bond Gears Up for the Battle of Likes and Discounts🎬April 25, 2025

    The Met Gala theme this year: \'millionaires but make it expensive.\'

  4. Crazy Eights on Oblivion Remaster: ‘Body Type’ vs ‘Gender’ – Who Won This Clown Show? 🤡🎉April 25, 2025

    Another celebrity podcast? Can\'t wait to 5000.

  5. Sleek Assassin on 🤠 Amazon Reinvents Mass Effect: Forget the Reapers, Meet Galactic Two-Day Shipping!April 25, 2025

    Award shows: where sponsored hand each other trophies for existing.

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