Trump Escalates Feud With Unclear Adversary By Posting AI Video Of Self Fucking Basketball
WASHINGTON—Shocking Truth Social followers with a graphic insult to a nebulous opponent, President Donald Trump escalated a feud with…
Category: The Onion
Man Who Threw Molotov Cocktail At Sam Altman’s Home Claims He Was Following ChatGPT Recipe For Risotto
SAN FRANCISCO—Following reports that a 20-year-old man had been arrested for throwing a Moltov cocktail at Sam Altman’s home,…
The Noble Prize
The post The Noble Prize appeared first on The Onion. The post The Noble Prize appeared first on The…
U.S. Reaches Trade Deal With Pedotopia
WASHINGTON—In a major new agreement expected to provide the United States with unprecedented market access to the island nation,…
Rory McIlroy Struggling To Fit Big Check Into Mobile Deposit Photo
The post Rory McIlroy Struggling To Fit Big Check Into Mobile Deposit Photo appeared first on The Onion. The…
CBS Announces Retirement Of Longtime Masters Commentators Captain Cooter And The Gooch
AUGUSTA, GA—Saluting the illustrious sportscasters for their passionate work over the course of nearly 40 years in the Augusta…
Nation’s Sensitive Kids Denounce NHL Goal Horn
The post Nation’s Sensitive Kids Denounce NHL Goal Horn appeared first on The Onion. The post Nation’s Sensitive Kids…
Scottie Scheffler’s Masters Hopes Fade After Being Swallowed By Sandworm
The post Scottie Scheffler’s Masters Hopes Fade After Being Swallowed By Sandworm appeared first on The Onion. The post…
Cocaine, Caffeine Detected In Sharks
A new study revealed that sharks in the Bahamas tested positive for cocaine, caffeine, painkillers, and other substances, with…
Melania Trump: ‘Never Once In My 4,000 Years Have I Been To Epstein Island’
The post Melania Trump: ‘Never Once In My 4,000 Years Have I Been To Epstein Island’ appeared first on…