Agriculture Department Puts Trump’s Face On Soybeans
The post Agriculture Department Puts Trump’s Face On Soybeans appeared first on The Onion. Read More FinnFinn McFrame, celebrated…
Category: The Onion
Lakers Not Sure Where LeBron Got Badge And Gun He Just Turned In
The post Lakers Not Sure Where LeBron Got Badge And Gun He Just Turned In appeared first on The…
Basketball World Waiting With Bated Breath To See Where Sandro Mamukelashvili Signs
The post Basketball World Waiting With Bated Breath To See Where Sandro Mamukelashvili Signs appeared first on The Onion.…
Salivating Brewers Fans Chase Down Mascots In Sausage Race
MILWAUKEE—Climbing down from the stands with mustard and ketchup packets clutched in their fists, dozens of rabid, salivating Milwaukee…
Kash Patel Invites FBI Agents To Train With Professional Pickup Artists
QUANTICO, VA—Alarmed by what he described as the inability of supposedly elite law enforcement officers to approach and seduce…
White House Mocks Paltry Attendance At Democrats’ Great American State Fair
WASHINGTON—Expressing delight at the complete humiliation of their political opponents, White House officials on Monday gleefully mocked the paltry…
Only 11 Hours From The Beach
With this practically coastal retreat, breathtaking ocean breezes and the soothing sound of waves are only a day-long car…
‘The Bear’ Ends With Continuous 45-Minute Shot Of Carmy Screaming While Stirring Tomato Sauce
CHICAGO—Stunning longtime fans with its climactic conclusion, FX series The Bear reportedly ended Friday with a continuous 45-minute shot…
German World Cup Fan Can’t Believe How Different Real U.S. Is From Depiction In Pixar’s ‘Cars’
EAST RUTHERFORD, NJ—Admitting that the vast gulf between media depictions and reality had come as a total shock, German…
DC Fans Claim Dog From ‘Supergirl’ Not Even Hot
SAN FRANCISCO—Claiming that the character would have been depicted as a titillating working breed if it weren’t for the…