Category: The Onion

       NEW YORK—Describing some of the new branded products available for purchase at shows, a spokesperson for Harry Styles confirmed…

       VATICAN CITY—Lambasting the “muddled” plotlines of the post-Lucas era in a staggering 60,000 words, Pope Leo XIV released a…

       1 I DO NOT GIVE YOU CONSENT TO LISTEN TO THIS Chappell Roan 2 WE SAW THE FACE OF…

       MENLO PARK, CA—Expressing frustration about the frequent error hampering the overall user experience, Meta Glasses wearers worldwide confirmed Friday…

       South Korean businessman Chung Yong-jin, chairman of an investment group that owns a majority stake in Starbucks Korea, bowed…

       SUMMIT, NJ—In a surprise attack of astonishing brutality, oral cavity sources confirmed Thursday that the Listerine inside a local…

       WASHINGTON—Mashing their faces together as he produced loud smooching sounds, President Donald Trump made figurines of himself and his…

       The inaugural Enhanced Games, consisting of weightlifting, swimming, and sprinting, were held, which allowed competitors to take performance-enhancing drugs…

       BOONE, NC—Noting that the troubling signs of a toxic dynamic had become too numerous to ignore, area woman Kara…

       STARBASE, TX—Firing off dozens of messages in less than a minute at 2:30 a.m., Elon Musk reportedly hit up…