Steve Jobs’ Fist Bursts Through Grave Clutching Crude Drawing Of Something Called ‘The Octomac’
The post Steve Jobs’ Fist Bursts Through Grave Clutching Crude Drawing Of Something Called ‘The Octomac’ appeared first on…
Category: The Onion
RFK Jr. Spins Brain On Finger
The post RFK Jr. Spins Brain On Finger appeared first on The Onion. The post RFK Jr. Spins Brain…
Walls Closing In On Toddler Who Claimed TV Broke Itself
SAN JOSE, CA—With his explanation collapsing within seconds under the scrutiny of his parents, local toddler Timmy Herman reportedly…
Study Finds Gen Z Drinking Fewer Flagons Of Mead Than Medieval Generations
ST. LOUIS—Revealing a drastic decline in regular honey-wine consumption among youths, a new study published by researchers at Saint…
Grindr To Host White House Correspondents Dinner Party
LGBTQ dating app Grindr will host its first-ever White House Correspondents dinner party on Friday night before the event.…
Humanoid Robot Beats Human Half-Marathon Record
A humanoid robot in Beijing finished a half marathon in 50 minutes and 26 seconds, about almost seven minutes…
Regretful Conservative Wakes Up To Find He Drunkenly Got Nazi Tattoo Removed
COEUR D’ALENE, ID—Wincing from a pounding headache and hazy memories of debauchery, regretful conservative Nate Hanlon reportedly woke up…
Fractures Emerge Between GOP’s Pro-Pedophilia, Extremely Pro-Pedophilia Wings
The post Fractures Emerge Between GOP’s Pro-Pedophilia, Extremely Pro-Pedophilia Wings appeared first on The Onion. The post Fractures Emerge…
Apple Backs Up Tim Cook’s Memories To Port Over Into Next CEO
The post Apple Backs Up Tim Cook’s Memories To Port Over Into Next CEO appeared first on The Onion.…
Rancor Baby
The post Rancor Baby appeared first on The Onion. The post Rancor Baby appeared first on The Onion. Read More…