Category: The Onion

       SAN BERNARDINO COUNTY, CA—Tugging down his blue jeans as tens of thousands of heliostat mirrors angled the noonday sun…

       To showcase his nation’s defense industry, President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan of Türkiye presented each NATO leader with a Turkish-made…

       WASHINGTON—Relieved that their colleague appeared to be the very same man they’d known for years, allies of Sen. Mitch McConnell…

       SEVEN MILE BEACH, AUSTRALIA—In a shocking and violent scene that left the local marine mammal dead and dozens of…

       WASHINGTON—Despite protestations from the White House that the propulsion system was fully safe to operate, the Secret Service on Friday…

       WASHINGTON—Having been provided with a powerful reminder that legs were not merely for standing around on, millions of Americans…

       NEW YORK—Her eyes widening with horror as she took in the sight of the wrinkled hoodies and an upside-down…

       NEW YORK—Confessing total ignorance as to the origins of the mystifying ritual, FIFA admitted Friday it has absolutely no…

       Planned Parenthood regained access to federal funding for non-abortion care after a ban in the One Big Beautiful Bill…

       MAMANUCA ISLANDS, FIJI—In a revelation that prompted widespread calls for producers to remove him from the reality show’s villa, Love…