Category: The Onion

       BETHESDA, MD—Complaining during his annual physical Tuesday that the narrow tubelike structure offered next to no room for socializing,…

       The post ‘The Mandalorian And Grogu’ Slammed By Fans As Third-Best ‘Star Wars’ Film appeared first on The Onion.…

       The post Grandma Demoted To Sippy Cup appeared first on The Onion.    The post Grandma Demoted To Sippy Cup…

       PEACH CREEK, KY—Taking an opportunity to firmly reiterate their stance that it weren’t their intention, America’s simple-minded bumpkins issued…

       After months of mounting pressure, the Democratic National Committee released a draft of its 2024 election autopsy report, which…

       LOS ANGELES—Reminding the mother-to-be that everything she did now could have consequences for her unborn child, local obstetrician-gynecologist Dr.…

       NEW YORK—Warning that curt greetings and aggressive demands could be a sign someone was a scammer, JPMorgan Chase officials…

       The post Tiger Woods Completes 12-Step AA Program In 9 appeared first on The Onion.    The post Tiger Woods…

       The Department of Justice filed charges, including murder and conspiring to kill U.S. nationals, against former Cuban President Raúl…

       SUN PRAIRIE, WI—Struggling feebly against the temptation to abandon the ethical standards he swore to uphold upon his election…