Skip to content
https://jackal.today/

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Jackal.Today satirical news site

Advertisment Image
  • Home
  • Breaking
    • Sport News
  • Elephant Reads CNN
  • Events
  • Videos
  • Movie News
  • Music News
  • Games News
  • Phil Anselmo Daily Grimaces
  • Editorial
    • Advertise with us!
    • About Satirical Fake News Site Jackal.Today
    • Agreements and Personal data
    • Terms and Conditions
    • Opt-out preferences
    • Contact the editorial team
    • Authors

Category: The Onion

United Airlines To Kick Off Passengers Who Refuse To Use Headphones
The Onion

United Airlines To Kick Off Passengers Who Refuse To Use Headphones

FinnMarch 9, 2026

       United Airlines announced it will begin removing passengers from flights who refuse to wear headphones when listening to content…

What To Know About The New Requirements For SNAP Benefits
The Onion

What To Know About The New Requirements For SNAP Benefits

FinnMarch 9, 2026

       New work requirements for the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program have gone into effect across the nation, threatening benefits for…

Study Finds Mourning Loved Ones A Huge Waste Of Time
The Onion

Study Finds Mourning Loved Ones A Huge Waste Of Time

FinnMarch 9, 2026

       PHILADELPHIA—Hailing the discovery as a major step forward in the understanding of human psychology, University of Pennsylvania researchers published…

Kristi Noem Fired As DHS Secretary
The Onion

Kristi Noem Fired As DHS Secretary

FinnMarch 6, 2026

       Kristi Noem was fired from her post as Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security and will be replaced…

Trump To Americans: ‘You Won’t Have To Pay Your Son’s Cell Phone Bill When He Dies At War’ 
The Onion

Trump To Americans: ‘You Won’t Have To Pay Your Son’s Cell Phone Bill When He Dies At War’ 

FinnMarch 6, 2026

       WASHINGTON—Striking a note of optimism as the prospects for a protracted conflict with Iran grew likelier, President Trump on…

Stoic Kristi Noem Bears Firing With Stiff Upper Lip, Chin, Cheeks, Forehead
The Onion

Stoic Kristi Noem Bears Firing With Stiff Upper Lip, Chin, Cheeks, Forehead

FinnMarch 6, 2026

       The post Stoic Kristi Noem Bears Firing With Stiff Upper Lip, Chin, Cheeks, Forehead appeared first on The Onion.…

DOJ Employee Charged In Child Pornography Case
The Onion

DOJ Employee Charged In Child Pornography Case

FinnMarch 6, 2026

       Longtime Justice Department employee Timothy Parsons, a legal staffer in the U.S. Attorney’s Office in Washington, D.C., was arrested…

EPA Unveils Plan To Make Water Chunkier
The Onion

EPA Unveils Plan To Make Water Chunkier

FinnMarch 6, 2026

       WASHINGTON—In an effort to provide a “more hearty, spoonable drinking experience,” the Environmental Protection Agency announced Thursday a sweeping…

Trump’s War On Iran: Myth Vs. Fact
The Onion

Trump’s War On Iran: Myth Vs. Fact

FinnMarch 5, 2026

       The White House has defended strikes on Iran, stating that the country’s leaders are “paying for their crimes against…

Kevin Durant Terrified After Encountering Bobblehead Of Self
The Onion

Kevin Durant Terrified After Encountering Bobblehead Of Self

FinnMarch 5, 2026

       HOUSTON—Paralyzed with fear at the unexpected sight of the miniature figurine, Houston Rockets forward Kevin Durant reportedly screamed in…

Posts pagination

Previous 1 … 23 24 25 … 113 Next

Latest posts

  • Backrooms and Obsession Totally Not Made by Nerds in Their Basement Floor Beat Mandalorian and Grogu Because Who Needs Cute Baby Yoda Anyway
  • OMG 007 First Light Sells a Whopping 1.5 Million Copies in 24 Hours Because Who Needs a Social Life Anyway IOI Already Drooling Over Your Money for the First Content Update
  • ALICE COOPER Rips A.I to Shreds Because Apparently His Music Wasnt Robotic Enough Already
  • When the bassist insists on doing vocals too 🎤
  • Because You Clearly Need More Brunch and Day Parties in Your Life, DJ CLUE is Here to Save Sunday

Editorial
Ads cut
Advertise with us

Introducing Jackal.Today: The Advertising Empire You’ve Always Dreamed Of!

Finn October 8, 2024
Editorial
Editorial 2026 main
Breaking, Editorial

Jackal Today’s New Year Message: We Hope 2026 Finally Stops Plagiarizing Our Satire as Breaking News

Finn December 31, 2025
May 2026
S M T W T F S
 12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31  
« Apr    
Copyright © 2026 Jackal.Today satirical news site | Spotlight News by Ascendoor | Powered by WordPress.
Manage Consent
To provide the best experiences, we use technologies like cookies to store and/or access device information. Consenting to these technologies will allow us to process data such as browsing behavior or unique IDs on this site. Not consenting or withdrawing consent, may adversely affect certain features and functions.
Functional Always active
The technical storage or access is strictly necessary for the legitimate purpose of enabling the use of a specific service explicitly requested by the subscriber or user, or for the sole purpose of carrying out the transmission of a communication over an electronic communications network.
Preferences
The technical storage or access is necessary for the legitimate purpose of storing preferences that are not requested by the subscriber or user.
Statistics
The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for statistical purposes. The technical storage or access that is used exclusively for anonymous statistical purposes. Without a subpoena, voluntary compliance on the part of your Internet Service Provider, or additional records from a third party, information stored or retrieved for this purpose alone cannot usually be used to identify you.
Marketing
The technical storage or access is required to create user profiles to send advertising, or to track the user on a website or across several websites for similar marketing purposes.
Manage options Manage services Manage {vendor_count} vendors Read more about these purposes
View preferences
{title} {title} {title}