Category: The Onion

       The Potomac River, a waterway that winds through the nation’s capital, is in the midst of an ecological crisis…

       The post Alysa Liu Uses Gold Medal To Gauge Ear appeared first on The Onion.    The post Alysa Liu…

       WASHINGTON—Exhausted from repeated efforts to explain the most basic aspect of political power, an aide to President Trump nevertheless…

       BEVERLY HILLS, CA—Shifting uncomfortably in his chair and glancing around for the waiter, Formula One driver Lewis Hamilton was…

       A U.S. district judge ruled Buffalo Wild Wings can continue to call its popular menu item “boneless wings” even…

       SAN ANTONIO—Remarking upon the charmed existence he had led since changing his course in life, former illustrator Allan Mansour…

       Health Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. claimed that a high-fat, low-carbohydrate diet, widely known as the keto diet, can…

       AKRON, OH—Replying to a sparse text thread that had been only marginally active over the past few years, the…

       WILLOW SPRINGS, IL—Expressing exasperation over the constant Chinese New Year chatter, local thoroughbred Lady Star told reporters Wednesday she…

       South Korea’s spy agency believes North Korean leader Kim Jong-Un has chosen his daughter Kim Ju Ae as his…